Don't worry about others

How much time do you consume worrying about what other people are doing?

Perhaps its concern about whether your spouse is living up to your expectations, or whether a co-worker is performing their job correctly, or whether a member on your team is carrying their weight?

One of the rules I’m learning while playing doubles in tennis is to not worry about the other player. When I obey the rule, the rewards are huge, especially if you’re playing with your spouse!

In tennis doubles, it’s tempting to pin blame on your partner if they miss a shot, drop the ball into the net, or overhit. But, if the truth be known, you likely are missing just as many shots, if not more, than they are. It’s much more productive to not judge your partner’s shots, and concentrate on playing your own very best.

It’s amazing what happens on court when you focus all of your attention on doing your very best, and not worry about the other player. The better you do, the better they do. The more confident you are, the more confident they are. Success in your own efforts encourages and supports success in their efforts.

Contrariwise, if you judge your partner’s shots and voice disapproval or groan disappointment, they get demoralized, discouraged, even mad or angry. The morale on the court quickly sinks and the team’s game suffers. No good comes out of condemnation, judgmentalism or criticism. It’s a sure and quick route to failure and defeat.

I believe this rule applies to all interactions with people—at home, in the workplace, in the community. All of us have occasions where we work with others. If we put this rule, “Don’t worry about the other person. Concentrate on doing your very best,” more into practice, I’d bet we’d all get along much better.

I find it works well in marriage. Anytime I judge my wife and believe she needs to change, I generally get into trouble. Like Paul taught, “What you judge others to do, you do yourself.” Can you relate??

The more successful route to working with others is to change our view of them, rather than trying to change them. As we improve our view and see the other person the way God created him or her to begin with, we see them in their true spiritual light, and realize there is nothing to criticize, condemn or judge. God made each of us wonderful in our own special unique way.

“Judge righteous judgment.” Jesus taught. To judge righteously, is to size the other person up spiritually, to see the good God put there in the first place.

“Don’t worry about the other person. Be the best you can be,” is a dictum for successful living. It lifts negativity out of thought, casts darkness out of consciousness, lightens the load of worry, and sets us free to be all God created us to be.

No one is holding us back from using our God-given talents to the fullest. No one! The less time we worry about the other person, and the more energy we put into being our very best, the better off for everyone.

And that's a recipe for harmonious relations!

The trouble tree

I couldn't help but chuckle when reading the below story sent in by a reader today.

We all need a tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family.

As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car.

We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again."

"Funny thing is," he smiled," when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."


When I finished reading this, I thought, "And even better yet, hang your troubles up with God when you come home, and there won't be any to pick up in the morning when returning to work!" It's interesting how when we put our cares in the lap of the Lord, they tend to diminish in importance, thought relaxes, opens to new perspective, and solutions appear that otherwise seemed hidden from view. It's the miracle of spiritual trust and faith at work.

Yesterday's problem

A reader from the US wrote in telling me that she had called a PC repair center, which happened to be in India, for help on a technical problem with her printer. During the conversation, she realized that the tech worker was a day ahead of her time-wise.

She thought, “My problem today is yesterday’s problem for her!” This realization brought a new perspective for her on why we don’t need to worry about tomorrow’s troubles for there is a solution already being worked out before we get there.

Jesus taught us to never worry about tomorrow.

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

God, the all-knowing, all-wise, and all-providing Mind, is everywhere.

There is no place we can go, including “tomorrow,” where God has not been before us.

What we think is a trouble today, God has already solved “yesterday!” We can trust the solution to appear when we need it.

Hooray!

Worry less, trust more

I don't know who said this, but it carries a thought-provoking message:

Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness.

The best way to conquer worry is to trust God.

Worry often comes from trying to figure life's events out ourselves. But God always has a plan at work on our behalf, and it's designed for success. The less we worry, and the more we trust God, the sooner we see the divine plan unfolding before our eyes, and life's events make more sense.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs

Worry less love more

An adage I find helpful to remember at times...

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives us plenty to do, but gets us nowhere."

Live in the now

Do you ever worry about your future? How to pay the bills, getting along with another, staying healthy, finding a date, receiving a promotion, aging, and other concerns often top the lists of people who over-worry.

I’d like to suggest there’s a better way to live than worry, worry, and worry more. We can make the most of God’s good now and banish the worry-mentality to no-more land.

What is this thing called “the future” anyway? Is there such a thing? Does anyone ever actually live “in the future?” No. It’s impossible. We always live in the now. We do not live in the future. We might think about the future, but we live in the now.

Worry about the future prevents us from making the most of today.

Yes, we need to plan for a healthy happy tomorrow. But the best way to ensure a prosperous day ahead is to make the best of the day we are in. The good we accomplish today accumulates and builds for a successful tomorrow.

If facing a lack of money, a lack of ideas, lack in love, or lack in anything essential, don’t fret over whether you’ll have it tomorrow. Find the needed supply today.

God is an ever-present help. God doesn’t give us the aid we need in the future. God gives us what we need in the now. Accept His gift now! He loves you now and provides for every need without delay.

At one point, while in my twenties, I got very worried about ever getting married. There were no prospects for marriage let alone dating on my horizon. To cure my angst, I decided to live in the now. I committed myself to expressing actively and more abundantly day by day the qualities of love I figured would constitute a healthy marriage. Three years later, when least expected, I crossed paths with the woman I would marry. She lived 1700 miles from my home, yet God brought us together in the most unexpected way. I was ready. She was ready. I had made the most of my every “now” moment, and that faithfulness took care of the future. We have been happily married for over 19 years.

Live in the now! It’s the only moment you have. Spiritually considered there is no future, just the present, and you are in it. Enjoy making the most of it.