Fitting in

Some time ago, I was listening to the story of a woman who felt she didn't fit in. She listed off all the reasons why she was different than everyone else, why nobody liked her, at least from her momentarily depressed point of view, and why she was an oddball. "I'm never going to fit in," she lamented.

Listening for a comforting reply after she finished, I blurted out, "Oh, that's okay. I don't fit in either!"

Quickly scanning my own personal history, I saw many instances where I did not fit in with people around me. In school, I was not athletic at all, so didn't fit in with all the sports oriented guys. I always have had strong faith in the power of prayer to heal, which has brought scorns and disapprovals from many around me. I don't drink or smoke, which sets me apart from a large bulk of the population. And I could go on and on...

Most everyone likes to be part of a family of people who share common interests, can laugh and cry together, support one another and be there for each other when help is needed. People like to "fit in," for many reasons.

But there's a downside to the desire to fit in that needs to be guarded against. If fitting in requires us to compromise our morals, sacrifice our ideals, and live dishonestly, the effect is harmful and not promotive of happiness and well being. We are unfair to ourselves and to those around us.

I look to the life of Jesus Christ for guidance.

Jesus did not "fit in." He stood out. He stood out and above worldly ideals, material motives, and selfish pursuit. He lived for God's approval, not for mankind's. He strove for spiritual ideals, heavenly reward and eternal life. He did not strive to fit into the world in anyway. In fact, he left it behind, and taught others to do the same. Why? Because he knew one couldn't serve worldly ideals and spiritual ideals at the same time. They work against one another. One seeks the approval of person. The other seeks approval of God. And approval of God is what matters in the long run.

In as much as I don't "fit in," with many people's way of thinking, that doesn't mean I don't have plenty of friends. I do. I don't have to share everything in common with another to love them, see the spiritual truth about them, shake their hand with joy, and be there to help when needed. We all can do the same. Love knows no boundaries or obstacles.

There is one God, and one family under God. Each of us have God's approval already, and we feel that approval as we live true to our lovely spiritual self.

As far as God is concerned, each of us already fit in. It couldn't be any other way.


"With one Father, even God, the whole family of man would be brethren; and with one Mind and that God, or good, the brotherhood of man would consist of Love and Truth, and have unity of Principle and spiritual power which constitute divine Science." Mary Baker Eddy

You are already approved

Have you ever grown frustrated waiting for someone else’s approval before you could proceed with a project or idea?

Maybe you’re waiting on a boss to give the go-ahead on a proposal? Perhaps a spouse is taking forever to decide on a course of action? Or you’re waiting for someone unknown to snuggle up to your side and simply approve of who you are as a person?

While working as a department manager in a large administration for two years I had to learn great patience while my superiors decided whether to let me proceed with new proposals. This was a growing experience for me because I had been self-employed most of my working life, and successfully so. I was not accustomed to waiting for other people’s approvals before acting. After what seemed an interminably long waiting period on one project, I asked God for a new perspective that would keep me calm.

“I wanted approval for the project so I could proceed,” I agitated.

In a flash of divine inspiration, I was told that maybe I would never get approval for the project, but nonetheless, I did have approval to be content, happy and joyful anyway.

Aw…a spiritual perspective that took away my temporal fears.

The most important approval is not yeas or nays we receive from bosses, other people, or mates. It’s the divine permission we already have to live a joyful life regardless of whether or not our human ideas are accepted.

Our happiness and success as a living being is not conditional upon other people. It’s predetermined by God, and it’s scheduled to be good, fulfilling, and eternally enlightening.

We all have times of waiting for other’s to agree or disagree with our suggestions and ideas, but life does not have to go into a holding pattern in the meantime. Our most important activity is spiritual reflection. And we already have approval to do that!

So, what are you waiting for?

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed…” II Timothy