Matchmaking

I just read an intriguing article in the April 17, 2008, Christian Science Monitor, titled "She's got a date for you," about a professional matchmaker who puts men and women together, and for no modest fee--$4800, if you’re curious.

I prefer to trust the matchmaking skills of the one Mind, divine Love, to bring the right Joe together with the right Jane, but the views of the career matchmaker interviewed, Julie Ferman, from Brentwood, CA, where illuminating, none-the-less.

This quote by her especially caught my eye…

The toughest clients aren't fat or bald. They're the unhappy ones looking for a relationship to make them happy. "They think that's all that is lacking from their lives – the right person," says Ferman. They're impossible to please because they're looking for a panacea, not a person.

"You have to come to this party as a satisfied, loving person, able to see what's right in human beings instead of what's wrong. That's where success is," she says. "It's much more about being a loving, happy person than about finding a loving, happy person."

From what I’ve seen in people searching for love in the “right person,” these are profound words of wisdom, I would say.

For the New Year

"Meeting that special someone," is a new blog of mine posted recently on tmcyouth.com

Why not sex while dating?

“I can’t find a date who doesn’t want sex,” single women frequently complain. “Do I compromise my better instinct and give them what they want?” many ladies wonder in fear of losing a hopeful prospect.

“Having sex or not depends on what you want out of the relationship,” I frequently tell those who ask.

If you want to know whether the guy really loves you, hold off on the intercourse until you’re sure of his affections. If he truly loves you, he can wait on the sex.

If you give him sex freely, he may show you all kinds of affection because he loves the sex and you are the provider. However he may not truly love you. Love and sex is not the same thing and many daters are confused about the difference. To determine if his affections are in his pants or on you, stop the sex and find out. You’ll quickly know.

If he truly loves you, he’ll wait until ready to make a commitment.

I know a lot of people don’t like the word abstinence, because it sounds old-fashioned and is out-of-date according to Hollywood. But abstaining from sex during the dating phase can be a huge protection for those who want a relationship based on enduring love and not fleeting affection.

If a person is serious about long term happiness, they need to know if the other person is attracted to them for the right reasons. If the attraction is based on spiritual love, the relationship will endure. If the attraction is based on whether the guy gets sex or not, the relationship is going to eventually crumble, and it’s better to find out before signing the bottomline of a binding legal document. Cooling it on the sex and focusing on matters of the heart while dating is a wise way to find out if there’s a future between interested parties.

The joy ride of a sensuality-based partnership may endure for a while, but when other factors enter like how to manage the money, who does what chores, who cooks dinner, and who gets the new car, the highs from sex mean little or nothing. A successful marriage needs genuine bona fide spiritual love and commitment at its foundation to survive the trials of everyday life.

The consequences of having sex, none the least of which include pregnancy, health issues, and the trust you put in another when giving them your body, need protection. To prevent feeling violated and used, make sure the guy truly loves you before giving him your all.

True love is spiritual. Lasting affection is not a physical sensation, a sexual feeling, or a sensual indulgence. It’s patience, unselfishness, gentleness, generosity, willingness to give, share, and care. Love and sex are not the same. You can have sex without love, but you can’t have love without genuine care, patience and understanding. A man who understands and respects your desire to save sex for marriage, is showing favorable signs that he loves you for who you are and not for what he can get from you.