The Christian Science Bible Lesson has a section on marriage this week and the protection it provides for sexual relations. I found a translation of Paul's words in "The Message," especially helpful in understanding his thoughts.
I think the passage speaks for itself.
Paul wrote:
"Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?
Certainly--but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality--the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting--but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence--only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.
Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me--a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.
I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single." I Corinthians 7
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
"Thinking about women," part 3
Episode #3 in the series, “Thinking about women,” that I was involved with, has been posted on tmcyouth.com.
The intro…
The intro…
Most people think sensual desires are natural to human beings. But are they? And are they something we just have to learn to deal with, or is there another solution ? These are the kinds of questions a group of guys talk about in the third installment of “Thinking about women-the series.”
Christian Science lecturer Evan Mehlenbacher and Christian Science practitioner Russel Fogg join TMC Youth’s David Bates to try and figure out where these urges for sex come from.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thinking about women series
A new podcast I participated in has been posted.
"Thinking about women," part of a series on tmcyouth.com.
We ask the question, "Are sexual cravings really spiritual cravings?"
Listen in and see what you think.
"Thinking about women," part of a series on tmcyouth.com.
We ask the question, "Are sexual cravings really spiritual cravings?"
Listen in and see what you think.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Is chastity possible?
My newest addition to tmcyouth.com, “Is chastity possible.”
…”In an age when surveys claim large numbers of young people are engaging in some type of sexual activity long before they’re ready for marriage, it can be tough for a teen to come out from the crowd and say, “I’m waiting for the right person…” Click here to read on…
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Find the spiritual space
If you want to grow a garden, you have to find a plot of ground to plant your seeds. If you want to see a new movie you have to make room in your schedule to take in the flick. If you want to raise children you have to rearrange your whole life to allow for sufficient attention, interaction, nurturing, educating and comforting of these precious ones. Any new possibility you’d like to enter your life has to have room in your experience to occupy. You can’t put one more cup of water into an already full gallon of liquid.
A wife was complaining about the seeming meaninglessness of love-making with her husband. “What’s the point?” She wondered. Her husband wanted it, and so had she in earlier years, but now the act seemed empty and boringly ritualistic.
“Make space for the mutual tenderness, thoughtfulness and spiritual affection you really want to feel,” I replied. “Rather than getting depressed over what you don’t like, make room for moments of authentic caring and sharing. Put the physical impulse at bay long enough to give true love a chance to surface between the two of you and be felt spiritually rather than jumping into a mechanical act that soon ends and leaves no permanent improvement in your relationship. Make room for “real” love-making.” I added.
“Aw!” Came the response. “That’s what we need,--space for moments of meaningful caring.”
In our busy rush-rush society the most important things in life often get pushed to the side. In an effort to get a job done, we sacrifice patience and courteousness. In attempts to earn more money, we lose family and marriages. To do what we want to do, we disregard what others important to us desire. We often complain we can’t help it. We had no choice, we argue. But we do have a choice, and the moral imperative is to choose the right options.
Our son loves to play video games on his computer. My wife and I learned long ago we had to regulate his time at the PC so other important activities—like homework!!—didn’t get shoved out of his schedule and forgotten. We had to make sure he had space in his mind for the priorities.
Is there something lacking in your life you’d like to see more of? Make space for it. Accept the possibility of the idea, and like a seed germinating into a full-blown plant, it will bloom in your experience.
There is a spiritual space that every progressive idea occupies. Find that space and abide in it.
It’s not extra hours in the day that creates the desired space. It’s waking up to a new and better view and then acting on it that provides the additional room.
Like experiencing true love. Love doesn’t take material space to be had. It’s not a commodity. God is Love, and God is everywhere. But it does take thoughtfulness, affectionate caring, openness and nurturing to feel the blessings of Love. As we commit to expressing these qualities, we enter the spiritual space they occupy, and they in turn find space in our human experience.
This rule applies to every new and better experience we'd like to claim as our own.
A wife was complaining about the seeming meaninglessness of love-making with her husband. “What’s the point?” She wondered. Her husband wanted it, and so had she in earlier years, but now the act seemed empty and boringly ritualistic.
“Make space for the mutual tenderness, thoughtfulness and spiritual affection you really want to feel,” I replied. “Rather than getting depressed over what you don’t like, make room for moments of authentic caring and sharing. Put the physical impulse at bay long enough to give true love a chance to surface between the two of you and be felt spiritually rather than jumping into a mechanical act that soon ends and leaves no permanent improvement in your relationship. Make room for “real” love-making.” I added.
“Aw!” Came the response. “That’s what we need,--space for moments of meaningful caring.”
In our busy rush-rush society the most important things in life often get pushed to the side. In an effort to get a job done, we sacrifice patience and courteousness. In attempts to earn more money, we lose family and marriages. To do what we want to do, we disregard what others important to us desire. We often complain we can’t help it. We had no choice, we argue. But we do have a choice, and the moral imperative is to choose the right options.
Our son loves to play video games on his computer. My wife and I learned long ago we had to regulate his time at the PC so other important activities—like homework!!—didn’t get shoved out of his schedule and forgotten. We had to make sure he had space in his mind for the priorities.
Is there something lacking in your life you’d like to see more of? Make space for it. Accept the possibility of the idea, and like a seed germinating into a full-blown plant, it will bloom in your experience.
There is a spiritual space that every progressive idea occupies. Find that space and abide in it.
It’s not extra hours in the day that creates the desired space. It’s waking up to a new and better view and then acting on it that provides the additional room.
Like experiencing true love. Love doesn’t take material space to be had. It’s not a commodity. God is Love, and God is everywhere. But it does take thoughtfulness, affectionate caring, openness and nurturing to feel the blessings of Love. As we commit to expressing these qualities, we enter the spiritual space they occupy, and they in turn find space in our human experience.
This rule applies to every new and better experience we'd like to claim as our own.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Why not sex while dating?
“I can’t find a date who doesn’t want sex,” single women frequently complain. “Do I compromise my better instinct and give them what they want?” many ladies wonder in fear of losing a hopeful prospect.
“Having sex or not depends on what you want out of the relationship,” I frequently tell those who ask.
If you want to know whether the guy really loves you, hold off on the intercourse until you’re sure of his affections. If he truly loves you, he can wait on the sex.
If you give him sex freely, he may show you all kinds of affection because he loves the sex and you are the provider. However he may not truly love you. Love and sex is not the same thing and many daters are confused about the difference. To determine if his affections are in his pants or on you, stop the sex and find out. You’ll quickly know.
If he truly loves you, he’ll wait until ready to make a commitment.
I know a lot of people don’t like the word abstinence, because it sounds old-fashioned and is out-of-date according to Hollywood. But abstaining from sex during the dating phase can be a huge protection for those who want a relationship based on enduring love and not fleeting affection.
If a person is serious about long term happiness, they need to know if the other person is attracted to them for the right reasons. If the attraction is based on spiritual love, the relationship will endure. If the attraction is based on whether the guy gets sex or not, the relationship is going to eventually crumble, and it’s better to find out before signing the bottomline of a binding legal document. Cooling it on the sex and focusing on matters of the heart while dating is a wise way to find out if there’s a future between interested parties.
The joy ride of a sensuality-based partnership may endure for a while, but when other factors enter like how to manage the money, who does what chores, who cooks dinner, and who gets the new car, the highs from sex mean little or nothing. A successful marriage needs genuine bona fide spiritual love and commitment at its foundation to survive the trials of everyday life.
The consequences of having sex, none the least of which include pregnancy, health issues, and the trust you put in another when giving them your body, need protection. To prevent feeling violated and used, make sure the guy truly loves you before giving him your all.
True love is spiritual. Lasting affection is not a physical sensation, a sexual feeling, or a sensual indulgence. It’s patience, unselfishness, gentleness, generosity, willingness to give, share, and care. Love and sex are not the same. You can have sex without love, but you can’t have love without genuine care, patience and understanding. A man who understands and respects your desire to save sex for marriage, is showing favorable signs that he loves you for who you are and not for what he can get from you.
“Having sex or not depends on what you want out of the relationship,” I frequently tell those who ask.
If you want to know whether the guy really loves you, hold off on the intercourse until you’re sure of his affections. If he truly loves you, he can wait on the sex.
If you give him sex freely, he may show you all kinds of affection because he loves the sex and you are the provider. However he may not truly love you. Love and sex is not the same thing and many daters are confused about the difference. To determine if his affections are in his pants or on you, stop the sex and find out. You’ll quickly know.
If he truly loves you, he’ll wait until ready to make a commitment.
I know a lot of people don’t like the word abstinence, because it sounds old-fashioned and is out-of-date according to Hollywood. But abstaining from sex during the dating phase can be a huge protection for those who want a relationship based on enduring love and not fleeting affection.
If a person is serious about long term happiness, they need to know if the other person is attracted to them for the right reasons. If the attraction is based on spiritual love, the relationship will endure. If the attraction is based on whether the guy gets sex or not, the relationship is going to eventually crumble, and it’s better to find out before signing the bottomline of a binding legal document. Cooling it on the sex and focusing on matters of the heart while dating is a wise way to find out if there’s a future between interested parties.
The joy ride of a sensuality-based partnership may endure for a while, but when other factors enter like how to manage the money, who does what chores, who cooks dinner, and who gets the new car, the highs from sex mean little or nothing. A successful marriage needs genuine bona fide spiritual love and commitment at its foundation to survive the trials of everyday life.
The consequences of having sex, none the least of which include pregnancy, health issues, and the trust you put in another when giving them your body, need protection. To prevent feeling violated and used, make sure the guy truly loves you before giving him your all.
True love is spiritual. Lasting affection is not a physical sensation, a sexual feeling, or a sensual indulgence. It’s patience, unselfishness, gentleness, generosity, willingness to give, share, and care. Love and sex are not the same. You can have sex without love, but you can’t have love without genuine care, patience and understanding. A man who understands and respects your desire to save sex for marriage, is showing favorable signs that he loves you for who you are and not for what he can get from you.
