When to speak when to be silent

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

Healing words and love

A couple of weeks ago after a lecture I gave in the Northwest, a lady told me about her experiences with residents at a home for elders she lived in. She was quite talkative, full of stories and goodwill toward others. She was a happy individual and her love for humanity poured out through her personality.

At one point, she relayed how she had told a co-resident that God loved her. She put great emphasis on how she had told this woman she was loved. She didn’t say the words quietly, hesitantly or carefully. Her words gushed out with conviction as a fire hose flooding water out it’s nozzle at full force.

The object of her affection was a woman who evidently needed a lot of love. She hadn’t spoken a word in five years, according to this lady. Shortly, the woman started talking again, and hadn’t stopped chatting and sharing since, my storyteller chuckled.

It’s a simple story, but a stirring reminder how simple words, fearless sharing and powerful truths can dramatically change people’s lives.

Benefits of sharing Christian Science

There is an exhilarating power that builds within when one shares Christian Science freely with neighbors.

Last Friday, I spoke at a Seventh Day Adventist college to a comparative religions class about Christian Science. I was well received and eagerly embraced by a class of sixteen students who drilled me on my practice of this teaching.

I thrive on answering questions, and the questions came.

They asked

• Do you believe in Satan?
• Is there an afterlife?
• If Christ is Truth, then how can people who don’t know Christ find Truth?
• If matter isn’t real, why go to the mountains to vacation?
• What if someone dies when you are praying for them?
• What about hell?
• How do you pray?
• Do you believe in baptism?

And the questions went on and on… It was easy to fill the time, and they sent me off with a healthy round of applause. All but one student took a copy of Science and Health. I hope to return next year.

These types of opportunities to share inspire me for days. I forget about myself when giving, tune into God and listen for answers that enlighten my audience. I feel healthier and happier afterward, confident that a good deed was done. I bounce out of the classroom ready to do it all again.

Christian Science can be like a bottle of perfume. The cap on the bottle needs to be opened, and a little of the scent released to be of good effect in the surrounding environment. Sealed in the jar it’s of no use to anyone. In super concentrated form, it’s too powerful to enjoy. It needs to be released. Then its delicious odor has a chance to be appreciated.

There’s a lesson here for each of us. If a student of Christian Science, we cannot keep it to ourselves and receive the full blessing it is capable of bringing into our experience. Much of the blessing comes from sharing it freely and joyfully with our neighbor.

Yes, we need to share with understanding, but the understanding comes as the desire is nurtured. Practice finds the right words and discovers the helpful examples that illustrate the point we’re making.

“Preach the gospel to the world,” commanded Jesus. He didn’t say, “If you get around to it,” or “If you want to…” He instructed, “Preach the gospel!”

I can see from experience that orally ministering to others is not only to spread the Word, but to benefit ourselves. We grow in the offering. Preaching is for the giver and the receiver.

So, don’t hold back. Welcome any opportunity to share Christian Science. Your audience will be blessed and you will be too!

What do you see in others?

When being trained as a speaker for public audiences, I had a coach who never pointed out my faults when I rehearsed. She always focused on what I did well and encouraged me to do better. I was distressed about this approach at first because I wanted to know my mistakes and what I was doing wrong. But she refused to change her method. She constantly focused on my strengths and successes.

One time I observed another coach rip into a trainee with a list of errors she made along with corrections to make in her style and presentation. The trainee was crushed. She felt like a failure. She wanted to give up before she embarrassed herself again. She cried in the backroom afterward.

I suddenly gained an immense appreciation for the technique of my coach. My teacher knew that listing out errors and shortcomings demoralizes students and destroys their confidence. She knew that focusing on strengths and abilities builds confidence and increases success.

Lesson learned—an effective way to heal faults in other’s performance is to focus on what they do well. The love they feel from their supportive mentor inspires them to do better and grow out of their weaknesses.

Strong relationships are built in much the same way.

Have you ever been tempted to point out someone else’s faults? Let him or her know what they do wrong and why you don’t like it?

Does it help? Does it quickly harmonize the relationship? Not usually.

Honesty and forthrightness are certainly necessary for open communication, but what we are honest about makes all the difference.

God made each of us loving and lovable. It might not always look that way, but it depends upon our perspective. If we look at our partner through the eyes of error, we see faults. If we look at them through the eyes of Love, we see qualities to love.

There’s a saying: Building relationships is like living in California: don’t dwell on the faults!

Alan Cohen writes more about this in his article "The Addict and the Sage."

What happens to a structure set over a fault?

When an earthquake hits, it falls through the crack.

We don't have to dwell on other people's faults. It's more constructive to dwell on the spiritual truth about them and rejoice in what they do well.

God made your friend, student, spouse or co-worker perfect in Love. As you look at him or her through the lens of Love you'll see more of the good God put there in the first place. The more you see the positive, and work with them from the point of their worthiness, the shortcomings fall away or become a non-factor.

When "reviewing" other people's behavior in my mind, I think back to the approach of my favorite coach. I strive to focus on the good. Build up the good. Point out the strengths and successes.

We can trust the Mind of Christ to help our friend or family member figure out the rest, and leave us to still be their trusted confidant in the end.

"When speaking of God's children, not the children of men, Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you;" that is, Truth and Love reign in the real The kingdom man, showing that man in God's image is within unfallen and eternal. Jesus beheld in Science the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals. In this perfect man the Saviour saw God's own likeness, and this correct view of man healed the sick." Mary Baker Eddy