Have you ever struggled over how to respond to someone who is flat out mean to you?
Sometimes people get offended when no offense was meant by the other party. And sometimes people get upset because malice, false accusation and intentionally unkind remarks were lobbed at them. Perception of meanness is often a matter of…well...perception.
Nonetheless, in either case, the solution is the same. Jesus has shown us what to do.
Love more.
As children of God, we are a consciousness of love. Love is the substance of our real identity, and there isn’t any accusation or evil remark that can touch our body, our being, our individuality, our thinking, in the likeness of Love.
Jesus knew and understood this when he was able to utter, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
These words of Jesus, voiced while nailed to the cross, reveal his complete and total spiritual composure in the face of gross injustice and unwarranted persecution.
We can strive for this same composure. It is a ticket to freedom from being affected by evil thoughts, no matter where they come from. Our ability to maintain spiritual composure and thoughts of love protects us from the intent of the evil one.
A consciousness of love cannot be attacked by hatred and malice. It’s like a room full of light in the dark of the night. If you open the curtains on a window in that room and its pitch dark outside, the room remains full of light. The darkness does not invade the room. The light penetrates the darkness.
To God, evil, hatred and their kin have no power or presence. The more we align our thought with God, with infinite divine Love, the less influence hatred and evil have over our thinking.
Walk in love. Remain in love. Stay in love. Identify with infinite divine Love, and hatred from others will not impact you. You will impact them, and favorably, and at the same time preserve your own sanity and peace of mind.
The mind of love forgives instantly, shows mercy, has compassion, looks for the good, is unimpressed by evil, remains spiritually composed, and loves on.
Love on…
Showing posts with label meanness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meanness. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Sunday, December 7, 2008
When people do mean things
How do you respond to other people who do things that are purposely mean?
That can be a tough question to answer sometimes…
This weekend, our daughter, Jenna, had a major swim meet in Wenatchee, which is about a 2 hour drive from where we live. The whole family decided to go and support her. Saturday afternoon Jenna was finished early, so we skipped up to Leavenworth, about 20 miles away, to spend the rest of the day and taking in the lighting ceremony at 5 p.m.
If you’re not aware, the little town of Leavenworth is a spectacular commercial and tourism success story. Decades ago, threatened with extinction when the major employer of the town shut down, the area leaders settled on a Bavarian theme and worked hard to turn the village into a tourist destination. It’s a fun place to visit now, with dozens of shops, restaurants, hotels, cafes, and more that can easily fill up a day or more of strolling, looking and eating.
The day we went, everyone else in the State of Washington decided to go too! The mob was unbelievable. Parking was impossible. We ended up parking out in the residential area and walking in, which was fine. The weather was beautiful.
Here’s a picture of the crowd we found. If you’ve ever been there, at least 100 people were standing in line waiting to get into the hat shop.
The atmosphere was loaded with fun. Music was playing, children laughing, singers singing, and bands playing, as thousands patiently waited for the lighting ceremony to begin.
By the size of the crowd and enthusiasm all around, you would have thought President-elect Obama was about to show. But I think people were simply looking for something to do other than sit at home in front of the TV.
The lighting happened quickly, and soon the crowds dispersed.
As we walked back to our car, we looked down the street and said, “Man somebody parked really close to our rear bumper.” As we got closer, there was no question. Someone did not like us. They parked their car within a half-inch of our rear bumper making it impossible to back up and exit our parking spot which was parallel to the curb. A big pickup truck was parked in front of us. And it appeared malicious because this car had several feet behind him that he could have occupied with a driveway entrance beyond that. And there were plenty of open parking spaces all around everywhere.
There was 2-3 feet in front of us, so we were able to exit with a little maneuvering, but I was not able to instantly let go of the apparent evil intent of this driver.
I could have been wrong, of course. The nudge up to our bumper could have been innocent, but honestly, he had to work really hard to get that close to our car without touching! And there was no reason to do so. A car could not have parked behind him.
After wrestling for several minutes on how to think about it, I decided that I didn’t have to judge this man one way or the other. God always provides us a way out!
I was bothered at first because if this driver had gotten his way, we would have been locked into position with no way out.
But the fact was that we weren’t locked in. There was a way out. So, I had nothing to complain about.
And this was my answer.
It didn’t matter what ill-will this driver may have had toward us, whether we took his favorite parking spot, or he didn’t like us parking in front of his home, or whatever, any malicious intent was not going to succeed. Divine Love was going to provide a way out for us no matter what and that was a truth I could always trust. I didn't have to harbor resentment. It was unnecessary because we could never be hurt.
The lesson I picked up was, I didn’t have to worry about what other people may or may not do. God is way ahead of them, and if there is malicious intent, if I keep my thinking right with God, I’ll know what to do when the occasion arises. And there will always be a way out.
Like Jesus walking through the mob that wanted to kill him. Jesus kept his thought right with God, and God provided a way out. Jesus walked through the crowd unharmed, and out and away without them even realizing it.
So, what to do when someone acts intentionally mean and you feel stuck? I decided to not get wrapped up into anger myself. Thinking evilly in kind is not a progressive path to walk down. The need is to stay in a consciousness of Love. Know that the intent of the evil-doer is destined to fail and fall, and look for the path out, for there is one.
We had a very happy drive home.
That can be a tough question to answer sometimes…
This weekend, our daughter, Jenna, had a major swim meet in Wenatchee, which is about a 2 hour drive from where we live. The whole family decided to go and support her. Saturday afternoon Jenna was finished early, so we skipped up to Leavenworth, about 20 miles away, to spend the rest of the day and taking in the lighting ceremony at 5 p.m.
If you’re not aware, the little town of Leavenworth is a spectacular commercial and tourism success story. Decades ago, threatened with extinction when the major employer of the town shut down, the area leaders settled on a Bavarian theme and worked hard to turn the village into a tourist destination. It’s a fun place to visit now, with dozens of shops, restaurants, hotels, cafes, and more that can easily fill up a day or more of strolling, looking and eating.
The day we went, everyone else in the State of Washington decided to go too! The mob was unbelievable. Parking was impossible. We ended up parking out in the residential area and walking in, which was fine. The weather was beautiful.
Here’s a picture of the crowd we found. If you’ve ever been there, at least 100 people were standing in line waiting to get into the hat shop.
The atmosphere was loaded with fun. Music was playing, children laughing, singers singing, and bands playing, as thousands patiently waited for the lighting ceremony to begin.By the size of the crowd and enthusiasm all around, you would have thought President-elect Obama was about to show. But I think people were simply looking for something to do other than sit at home in front of the TV.
The lighting happened quickly, and soon the crowds dispersed.
As we walked back to our car, we looked down the street and said, “Man somebody parked really close to our rear bumper.” As we got closer, there was no question. Someone did not like us. They parked their car within a half-inch of our rear bumper making it impossible to back up and exit our parking spot which was parallel to the curb. A big pickup truck was parked in front of us. And it appeared malicious because this car had several feet behind him that he could have occupied with a driveway entrance beyond that. And there were plenty of open parking spaces all around everywhere.
There was 2-3 feet in front of us, so we were able to exit with a little maneuvering, but I was not able to instantly let go of the apparent evil intent of this driver.
I could have been wrong, of course. The nudge up to our bumper could have been innocent, but honestly, he had to work really hard to get that close to our car without touching! And there was no reason to do so. A car could not have parked behind him.
After wrestling for several minutes on how to think about it, I decided that I didn’t have to judge this man one way or the other. God always provides us a way out!
I was bothered at first because if this driver had gotten his way, we would have been locked into position with no way out.
But the fact was that we weren’t locked in. There was a way out. So, I had nothing to complain about.
And this was my answer.
It didn’t matter what ill-will this driver may have had toward us, whether we took his favorite parking spot, or he didn’t like us parking in front of his home, or whatever, any malicious intent was not going to succeed. Divine Love was going to provide a way out for us no matter what and that was a truth I could always trust. I didn't have to harbor resentment. It was unnecessary because we could never be hurt.
The lesson I picked up was, I didn’t have to worry about what other people may or may not do. God is way ahead of them, and if there is malicious intent, if I keep my thinking right with God, I’ll know what to do when the occasion arises. And there will always be a way out.
Like Jesus walking through the mob that wanted to kill him. Jesus kept his thought right with God, and God provided a way out. Jesus walked through the crowd unharmed, and out and away without them even realizing it.
So, what to do when someone acts intentionally mean and you feel stuck? I decided to not get wrapped up into anger myself. Thinking evilly in kind is not a progressive path to walk down. The need is to stay in a consciousness of Love. Know that the intent of the evil-doer is destined to fail and fall, and look for the path out, for there is one.
We had a very happy drive home.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Dealing with mean people
I was asked, “When we die, do we have to deal with mean people who passed on before us?”
I replied, “God didn’t create mean people. The troubles mean people give us are not so much from the person we identify as cruel, as from our evil thoughts about them. Get rid of the evil thoughts, and the meanness of that person will not bother you.”
“That is interesting,” she commented. And then went onto explain that a person she considered to be one of the cruelest and meanest individuals she had ever known had recently died. But she was still very troubled by him.
We concluded that it wasn’t the person’s physical presence and actions that had troubled her, but her thoughts about him, and those unforgiving views were still hanging around.
I find three passages from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy, helpful in claiming immunity from other people’s hurtful ways.
- “It is error to suffer for aught but your own sins.” p. 391:13
- “It is self-evident that we are harmonious only as we cease to manifest evil or the belief that we suffer from the sins of others.” p. 346:13
- “The sins of others should not make good men suffer.” p. 189:13
Typically, we are troubled by others because our self-indignation, arrogance, self-righteousness or pride gets offended. The spiritual demand is to purge ourselves of sin, of the “self-stuff” that prevents us from having a consciousness filled with love. Once the “self-stuff” is dispensed with we can successfully love our enemies as Jesus taught, and prevent them from paining our existence.
So, “Do we have to deal with mean people in a later life?” I answer, “In spiritual reality there are no mean people. It’s our view of them that needs to reform. But sooner or later each of us need to behold the correct view of every one of God's children, and there's no better time to get that right spiritual view then now!”
