When wronged by others

A couple of weeks ago I was grousing to myself about being unfairly wronged by another. I don’t like feeling resentful because I know it is totally out of character with living the Sermon on the Mount which instructs us to forgive, love our enemies, and move on.

But no matter how I looked at the situation I faced, I still felt wronged, and the burden this resentment brought within was not lifting.

I said all the right words in my prayers, but still, the resentment would not leave.

Finally, the angel message came,

“I might be wronged by others, but I don’t have to suffer from their actions.”

Wow! That was the inspiration I needed to hear.

I realized that I was stuck in my prayers because I was trying to see the unreality of the injustice. And I couldn’t. Injustice is injustice. How can you see a wrong as right? You can’t. Wrong is wrong, and right is right, simple as that.

I thought about Jesus Christ’s experience with others. He was wronged many times, and very unfairly. If he couldn't avoid being treated unjustly, how would I avoid it?

Also, he did not tell his followers that they would never be wronged. In fact, he taught quite the opposite. He warned his students that they would be wronged, and they might as well expect it. But he didn’t leave it there.

He explained,

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Well of course, I finally figured out with the emphasis of a strong blow across the head, that we feel resentful when we believe something of worth has been taken from us. Something of value like maybe an opportunity, perhaps money, a thing, or esteem, respect, honor, or something similar.

These are all worldly, though. They are not of heaven, I began to see clearly. They are of the temporal realm and to be released for the spiritual.

All good is truly spiritual, and not of this world, I reaffirmed. No one on this planet could do anything, no matter how unjust, that deprived me of anything genuinely good. My substance is safe and sound in Spirit, I knew!

And that’s when I really understood the message, “I might be wronged by others, but I don’t have to suffer from their actions.”

I interpreted this to mean, I might be, and probably would be again, wronged humanly by others, but I will never feel suffering from their actions when I know my substance, being and individuality is spiritual, safe and sound in heaven, where no human can touch it.

My goal in life was not to build myself up humanly in a way that others could tear down. It was not to achieve any type of prestige or certain kind of respect from others. It was not to be anything of this world really. It was to grow in spiritual understanding, yield up all belief of life in matter, and be the heavenly child of God I was created to be in the first place. From this higher spiritual point of view, there wasn't anything anyone of this world could do to truly hurt me. Human injustice might sting for a while, as I let go of human ego, but in the long run, all is spiritual and totally out of the reach of malice and hatred.

Whew!

This higher view was a mega-relief, and I’m still floating in upper mental space from the buoyancy it brought to me.

No more resentment…just more love.

You can do it too.

Don't take on another's resentment

I made the most fascinating discovery last week about not letting another’s resentment become my resentment.

On my USTA tennis team, one player who signed-up last December, abruptly quit after the second team practice and joined another team in another club. It was an odd experience with no visible explanation. All the other guys wondered why he left, including me.

I let his decision go, figuring it was his choice, and found another player to replace him. I had no resentment about what he did.

Unfortunately, though, whenever we crossed paths, I sensed negative tension between us. It was puzzling, and I didn’t like it because I choose to be friends with everyone, including this man who I had gotten along fine with for years.

I tried once to talk with him about it, but he put off the discussion, which I took as meaning, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Yet, these negative vibes kept coming and soon I was feeling resentful about the situation.

Resentment is not a mental quality I choose to harbor. It’s an enemy to success in Christian Science, and definitely an anti-God state of mind that is harmful to our spiritual progress and expression of divine Love. It is not to be tolerated, I figure, for it is unhealthy, and I knew this. But I couldn’t shake it off.

What to do?

Well, the answer finally came last week after I played doubles against this guy on men’s night. We were friendly enough toward each other, but when I sensed that negative stuff coming again, I silently rebelled and vehemently declared inaudibly that I was not a resentful person. I loved everyone as a child of God, even this dear one.

Suddenly, the spiritual light shined, and the voice of Truth said, “You don’t have to let his resentment become your resentment!”

That was it! I inwardly yelled.

I had let what I perceived to be his negative feelings become mine, not because I was resenting him, but because I had unwittingly let his belief that he had a reason to be resentful toward the team become my belief that he was resentful, and this dupe caused me to start resenting without realizing why. It was a very tricky way mortal mind has of making us feel guilty when we are not guilty.

“I was not a resentful person,” I yelled from within again. And instantly, the negative junk vanished from my thought. All of it! It was like a huge weight lifted off my mental shoulders, and I was truly free. And I still am today.

Lesson learned: We don’t have to let other people’s resentment become our resentment! We can maintain a position of pure unconditional Love at all times. But we have to make this demonstration. We cannot be naïve about the adverse impact other people’s negative beliefs have on our belief system if we do not properly defend ourselves from the lie that evil has any influence over anyone, including our “opponent” to begin with.

“Evil thoughts and aims reach no farther and do no more harm than one's belief permits. Evil thoughts, lusts, and malicious purposes cannot go forth, like wandering pollen, from one human mind to another, finding unsuspected lodgment, if virtue and truth build a strong defence.” Mary Baker Eddy

So, if you’re harboring any resentment toward anyone, perhaps some, or all of it, isn’t of your creating at all. You can choose to love, and demonstrate that you are not under the influence of resentment, no matter where it appears to come from. Know the truth and shake yourself free. God alone governs and controls our thinking, not other people.

I expect this episode with my tennis buddy to pass and a healthy friendship restored. It can't help but be, for Love requires and facilitates healing on both sides of the issue. We were all created to love each other, not resent, and this player is an individual I hope to have a healthy happy tennis relationship with for years to come.

Don't play hurt

Found a powerful article by Alan Cohen on not playing the role of victim. If you are the type to ever feel hurt by events not flowing your way, check it out.

His piece, “I don’t play hurt,” masterfully outlines a better approach to untoward circumstances than crying “Woe me.” It explains that we all have experiences that cause hurt, but we don’t have to stay hurt. And he shows you how to prevent the pain.