Understanding the opposite sex

Have you seen the Broadway production, “Defending the Caveman?”

Kathy and I went to see the show last night here in town, and I haven’t laughed so hard in one sitting in a long time. I was concerned that the show would be too raw, and it did have some words and references that made me wince and uncomfortable, but for the most part, it was creatively written, followed a definite theme, and was illed with thought-provoking observations.

If you’re not familiar, the content of the show is intended to help men and women understand each other better, and particularly, clear up gross misunderstandings held by many women, from a man’s point of view, of why men act and behave in unusual ways (unusual—according to women, that is, but not to men!).

For example, it rationalizes why men are single-minded, often focused on one thing to the exclusion of all else, and why women think about many different things all at once. It takes the audience back to the ways of cavemen and cavewomen to justify its arguments.

Men are hunters. Women are gatherers. Men are trained to pursue a single goal—hunt the Bison! Women are gatherers, looking all around, picking and choosing among many options all at once, gathering their harvest into their baskets.

Then the script spells out through story and parody perceived differences between men and women.

Women like to talk issues out. Men prefer few words, silence and quickly moving on to the next activity. Women are quick to help. Men are quick to find reasons why someone else should do the job. Women are cooperative. Men are negotiators. Women have feelings. Men have feelings too, but they don’t show them openly like women. And the examples go on and on…

It’s a hilarious comedy if you’re in a forgiving mood, don't get offended easily, and don’t take points made too seriously.

Afterward, my wife commented that she could sympathize with some of the men ideals and not with several of the so-called women ideals. For instance, shopping! My wife does not like to shop, which is great for our budget by the way. And women were parodied as big-time shoppers, loving to spend hours in the mall strolling through the stores surveying all the options and enjoying the whole experience. That's not me! My wife exclaimed. I know other women that feel the same way. And then she could see where I lived out some of the proclaimed women ideals, like cooking. I like to cook and frequently prepare dinner for the family.

So, many of the models portrayed in the show were certainly outdated and distorted stereotypes, and gratefully so, for some societies anyway. We are moving closer to the ideal man and woman defined in Christian Science, as not being male or female, but as God’s image—male and female—which in practical terms, means whether male or female, each individual is capable of expressing the masculine and feminine qualities of love, strength, compassion, authority and wisdom equally.

Aside from the shortcomings of the show, one point I loved, made near the conclusion, was the host’s exclamation that all men and women should strive to understand each other better, to enter into the other’s world to understand it, but without judgment.

I loved it.

Yes! I exclaimed.

Without judgment. There was the key to marital harmony.

I have to admit, that I have learned much about a woman’s point of view by listening to my wife over the years. It can be very different than a man’s point of view.

It’s tempting to think that another person is wrong when they don’t agree with your own opinion. But that conclusion isn’t valid. Another point of view is not necessarily wrong, but simply, another perspective that may be just as worthy of consideration as one’s own. As men and women everywhere seek to understand each other better, their differing points of view will blend, common ground will be found, mutual understandings will be established, and relationships strengthened and benefited.

“Enter into each other’s world, without judgment.” That point alone was worth the evening spent to hear it.