No scapegoats for anger

Here’s a sobering truth to consider for anyone prone to getting angry at others:


Other people do not make you angry.


In my past travels, I was on a plane that arrived very late into the Salt Lake City airport. So late, that everyone missed their connecting flights and had to stay overnight in the city.


As over 200 passengers wearily filed off the plane and through the terminal, one irate woman pinned down an agent at a desk and lit into her with all kinds of unreasonable demands, spewing rage at being inconvenienced and not willing to listen to logic.


Everyone else dealt with the unplanned stay overnight calmly and civilly.

This woman, justified in her own mind, made quite an unpleasant scene, and accomplished nothing positive with her temper tantrum.


As I watched while standing in line, I thought, “This woman has a problem she needs to deal with. The agent did not make her angry. The airline did not make her angry. After all, everyone else is standing here, maybe mega-bummed, but not outwardly hostile. The world did not make her angry. Sin and selfishness made her angry. She is so caught up into herself and seeking her own comfort, that she's not seeing the imperative demand to love another as she would be loved back.”


Blaming others for one’s own anger is common.


Have you ever heard or uttered statements like, “My boss makes me so angry. My spouse gets me so upset. When I think about the politicians in control of the government I get so mad….” The list could grow quite lengthy.

Getting angry at others can be very sutble. For instance, I have a lot of books in bookshelves at home and in my office. I keep them neatly lined up in a straight edge along the front of each shelf.

A few days ago, someone dusted the shelves and without any appreciation for the order and alignment of the books, pushed them all out of place. When I first saw the squiggly mess, I felt a twinge of anger and protested internally that I would have to straighten them all out again! But I caught the anger, and I retorted, “Whoever dusted these shelves did not make you mad. Your sense of order was violated, and impatience with the disorder is what made you feel anger. Don’t blame another person for the anger! Love more and use this as an opportunity to cultivate more patience.”


Wow! What a freedom that thought brought. Instant forgiveness, peace and love quickly restored within. And no tense comments to anyone else in the household. I dealt with the tense feeling spiritually, and the effect was very good. Later, I made a kind and positive comment to another that will likely prevent the incident from being repeated. And everyone is still happy.


We are spiritual creatures designed to love. That’s our nature, to love! And no one can do anything or say anything offensive that takes that predisposition to love away from us.


When we blame another, we absolve ourselves of responsibility to get our own thinking straightened out with God. We live in a victim-world that feels helpless and even hopeless. And it’s all so unnecessary.


“Love thy neighbor as thyself,” is a rule for happy, healthy living. Love does not get mad at his neighbor, but sees the good in him, and honors that good by showing appreciation and gratitude for it.

Dissolving anger is a huge topic to address, but a good first step is to cease blaming others for it.


Enjoy a love-filled day.