Civility

I’ve read a number of editorials, opinion pieces and cartoons expressing disgust, dismay and anger over the recent public outbreaks of irresponsible behavior and attitude by Joe Wilson, Kanye West and Serena Williams. It’s disheartening to see role models for millions of people set such poor examples of how to treat a fellow human being.



My heart goes out to all three of them, though, because my God is a forgiving and loving God, and there are times when I've made a mistake that I later regretted.
 People make errors, but it’s important that we learn from our mistakes, correct them and demonstrate our true individuality as a child of God. And in this case, as a child of God who is a compassionate, thoughtful, kind, and generous being that is not so focused on selfish pursuit that responsible, loving behavior toward others is thrown out the window.


Their three highly publicized outbursts may be reflections on society in general that we all can learn from. Perhaps it’s an opportunity for us all to examine our attitude toward our neighbor, and see if there is room for improvement. They are hardly the only individuals that have fallen temporary victim to incivility.


What is the solution?


The best answer that comes to mind is “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” This command has been time-tested for centuries, and it works when it comes to maintaining civility, love and goodwill among communities of people.


I’ve played tennis against dozens of different players over the last few years, and have seen a few examples of poor attitude on the court. Never as severe as Serena’s, but occasionally, I find myself facing a player across the net who is hard to get along with.

Typically, the problem is not that they are a bad person. They are good people. But they get so absorbed into a very narrow-minded self-serving, self-focused, “I’m going to win no matter what” attitude, that they forget the common rules of decency when things don’t go their way. Selfishness, anger, and even meanness takes over their perspective to the expense of everyone around them.


Incivility is the often outcome of self-serving motives at work. The person expressing the incivility believes he is justified because all he can think about is what he wants, and anyone who threatens his agenda is an enemy and becomes a target for destruction. Its evil let loose.

And love is the power that restrains it.


My first effort after reading about all three outbursts by West, Wilson and Williams, was to examine my own thought and ask, “Do I manifest any of the same symptoms? Where can I improve?” I do not like to point fingers because when I do, the finger is turned right back on me. Not cool! It’s better to learn, forgive, love more and be a better example myself. So I hold no ire against the three and am grateful for the increased dialogue in the public square on the topic of civility so everyone can do their own self-examination and collectively, we all can improve our attitude toward one another.


So, my prayer for one and all is to see “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” more actively practiced. When we think about the other person first, and what blesses them, we aren’t so quick to condemn and see evil in them.


Everyone is a child of God, filled with worth and value that commands respect, honor and appreciation.


More important than winning an award, trophy, or gaining political advantage, is to love our neighbor unselfishly. Without love, there will be no society to hand out commendations, awards and just legislation. Love has to come first. Love is the foundation of a successful society. Love is the civil way to treat each other.


How important it is to worship a God of love and not the god of self.

 “One infinite God, good, unifies men and nations; constitutes the brotherhood of man; ends wars; fulfills the Scripture, ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself,’ annihilates pagan and Christian idolatry,--whatever is wrong in social, civil, criminal, political, and religious codes; equalizes the sexes; annuls the curse on man, and leaves nothing that can sin, suffer, be punished or destroyed.” Mary Baker Eddy