Making choices

I had a thought provoking conversation with a friend today about making choices.

“What motivates the choices you make in life?” She asked.

“I make the choice that I believe is the most spiritually progressive.” I answered.

“What do you mean?” She came back with.

I thought about big decisions I’ve made over the decades.

For example, the three years I wrestled with staying on the family farm or going into the full-time practice of Christian Science. I wanted to make the transition, but feared a lack of income, being frowned upon by family members, and dad’s likely negative reaction to my leaving the family business. But after all the agonizing, fretting and worrying, the bottom line question became, “What will be the spiritually progressive step to take?” The answer was obvious. Leave the farm and devote yourself full-time to understanding God and healing others with that understanding. I left the farm. It was one of the best choices I’ve ever made.

Another major decision I wrestled with 20 years ago, was whether to get married or not.

I fell in love, but worried about how my life would change if I made a life-time commitment through marriage.

All the freedoms that come with bachelorhood would vanish, I worried.

After considerable mental wrangling with these fears and arguing the pros and cons of the “Should I get married?” debate, the bottom line question became, “What will be the spiritually progressive step for you?”

Framed this way, my choice was clear. I felt that marriage would be the progressive step for me because I would grow faster in working out the problem of being with this woman I loved than without her. I’m happy to report 20 years later, that I made the right choice.

Simple day-to-day decisions can also be framed in the context of “What is the spiritually progressive thing to do?”

For instance, my son accidentally broke a toy his friend lent him over the weekend. He wanted to replace it, and pronto, with a new one that he would pay for himself. It was the end of the day. I did not want to go shopping, so I told him we’d get to it later in the week.

But then I thought, “What kind of example am I setting?” He wants to immediately rectify the mistake, and I’m delaying his rapid response. Should I be a bit less selfish here, and take him to the store now? What was the nearest right thing to do spiritually? I asked myself.

After a bit of prayer, I set my personal desire to stay at home for the evening aside, and told him we’d go right after dinner. The trip was quick and easy. My son is happy, and his friend has a new toy to replace the broken one. And I feel good that I helped him quickly remedy an unfortunate incident he felt badly about.

It can be hard to know what to do when faced with hard choices, but if we look carefully enough at the pros and cons and weigh our decision in the scale of “What is the spiritually progressive step to take?” the best choice will become clearer. When we want to do the spiritually right thing, God's help in making the best choice will become apparent in the form of our own sound reasoning.

I hope this story makes some choices you have to make a bit easier!

“Every step of progress is a step more spiritual.” The People’s Idea of God, Mary Baker Eddy.