Don't take on another's resentment

I made the most fascinating discovery last week about not letting another’s resentment become my resentment.

On my USTA tennis team, one player who signed-up last December, abruptly quit after the second team practice and joined another team in another club. It was an odd experience with no visible explanation. All the other guys wondered why he left, including me.

I let his decision go, figuring it was his choice, and found another player to replace him. I had no resentment about what he did.

Unfortunately, though, whenever we crossed paths, I sensed negative tension between us. It was puzzling, and I didn’t like it because I choose to be friends with everyone, including this man who I had gotten along fine with for years.

I tried once to talk with him about it, but he put off the discussion, which I took as meaning, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Yet, these negative vibes kept coming and soon I was feeling resentful about the situation.

Resentment is not a mental quality I choose to harbor. It’s an enemy to success in Christian Science, and definitely an anti-God state of mind that is harmful to our spiritual progress and expression of divine Love. It is not to be tolerated, I figure, for it is unhealthy, and I knew this. But I couldn’t shake it off.

What to do?

Well, the answer finally came last week after I played doubles against this guy on men’s night. We were friendly enough toward each other, but when I sensed that negative stuff coming again, I silently rebelled and vehemently declared inaudibly that I was not a resentful person. I loved everyone as a child of God, even this dear one.

Suddenly, the spiritual light shined, and the voice of Truth said, “You don’t have to let his resentment become your resentment!”

That was it! I inwardly yelled.

I had let what I perceived to be his negative feelings become mine, not because I was resenting him, but because I had unwittingly let his belief that he had a reason to be resentful toward the team become my belief that he was resentful, and this dupe caused me to start resenting without realizing why. It was a very tricky way mortal mind has of making us feel guilty when we are not guilty.

“I was not a resentful person,” I yelled from within again. And instantly, the negative junk vanished from my thought. All of it! It was like a huge weight lifted off my mental shoulders, and I was truly free. And I still am today.

Lesson learned: We don’t have to let other people’s resentment become our resentment! We can maintain a position of pure unconditional Love at all times. But we have to make this demonstration. We cannot be naïve about the adverse impact other people’s negative beliefs have on our belief system if we do not properly defend ourselves from the lie that evil has any influence over anyone, including our “opponent” to begin with.

“Evil thoughts and aims reach no farther and do no more harm than one's belief permits. Evil thoughts, lusts, and malicious purposes cannot go forth, like wandering pollen, from one human mind to another, finding unsuspected lodgment, if virtue and truth build a strong defence.” Mary Baker Eddy

So, if you’re harboring any resentment toward anyone, perhaps some, or all of it, isn’t of your creating at all. You can choose to love, and demonstrate that you are not under the influence of resentment, no matter where it appears to come from. Know the truth and shake yourself free. God alone governs and controls our thinking, not other people.

I expect this episode with my tennis buddy to pass and a healthy friendship restored. It can't help but be, for Love requires and facilitates healing on both sides of the issue. We were all created to love each other, not resent, and this player is an individual I hope to have a healthy happy tennis relationship with for years to come.