A little love goes a long way

My wife and I play mixed doubles together in tennis tournaments.

It’s a joke around our club that many husbands and wives cannot team together because they get into arguments on the court during matches and end up mad at each other.

Kathy, my wife, and I, have done quite well working together as a team, but she told me recently that I made too many remarks and sounds of disappointment when she missed a shot.

Oops! A no-no…

As I paid more attention to my responses on court, I became aware of what she was talking about. From my point of view, my sighs were not targeted at her, but at error on our team. But unfortunately, if your wife is the one who made the error, she might take it personally! So I needed to change how I reacted to mistakes, hers and mine, I could see.

So yesterday afternoon, during a tournament match we played in, I prayed for even more peace and harmony on our team.

At first, I worked hard to make no noises—except for shouts of joy and approval, of course. I did much better. But something still wasn’t quite right.

As I prayed further, I was reminded that marriage was all about love. The outward things a couple does, whether mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, paying bills, clothing the kids, and other chores are minor compared to loving each other unselfishly. Marriage is all about love, love, love. Love is what makes a relationship work. Everything else is insignicant, and nothing else is more important.

I realized the same rule applied to playing tennis with Kathy. Whatever happened on the court was trivial, and of no consequence, compared to free flowing love and mutual support between us.

I suddenly got it.

What I needed to do was to tangibly love her more during our games and eliminate any kind of concern in thought over errors.

Now understand, I already loved her more than one can measure. But Love is infinite I remembered, so I could always do a better job.

Love her more! The words echoed in thought.

As I listened for direction, after one of our games while we were switching sides of the court with our opponents, I thought, go over and kiss her. Let her know how much you love her right now, that love between us in this match is all that counts. The score, the mistakes, the misses, the triumphs, and all the rest do not matter compared to us just loving each other.

And that’s what I did. I saw a light brighten in those eyes of hers when I pecked her on the lips.

Aha! A good idea, I decided…

And I kept doing it regularly throughout the match. After a game, between sets, and when I felt like it, I’d give her a quick kiss to let her know our love for each other was all that mattered.

I haven’t asked her yet, but I think it worked. I felt a thick peace between us that I hadn’t felt before, a deeper trust and a freer team spirit.

Our playing got better and better. Her playing got better and better.

In a very tight match we came out winning, just barely, in a tie-breaker and felt very good about our performance.

I found it interesting to note, afterward, that with no planning on our part, we had changed strategy near the end of our game in a way that allowed her to really excel in a way we hadn't experienced before on our team. She hit some fabulous winner shots.

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. Love IS the most important thing in mixed doubles when you’re playing with your wife. It’s more important than the strokes, the serves and your positioning. Love IS the most important position to take for the best results.

To all you husbands and wives who play a team sport with your spouse, I can tell you from experience, that a few genuine expressions of love, whether its a heartfelt kiss or tender word, can go a long way to improving your team play.

I look forward to our next tournament together.

"Matrimony should never be entered into without a full recognition of its enduring obligations on both sides. There should be the most tender solicitude for each other's happiness, and mutual attention and approbation should wait on all the years of married life." Mary Baker Eddy