Can we forgive?

The recent atrocious killings at the Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvannia is the kind of horrid experience one wants to push out of his or her mind and wish never happened. The justification of such an act is unfathomable. How it could happen in the first place seems unbelievable.

Different people struggle with different emotions and feelings when such incidents occur.

“How could I ever possibly forgive that murderer,” a woman asked me yesterday.

In thinking through an answer, it was clear in my mind that the murders were dark evil and need never be forgiven. But the man used by the evil thoughts had to be seen in a different light.

The old saying “Love the sinner, hate the sin,” applies here.

If we were to hold every crime against every criminal forever, and never forgive them, this world would become a hopeless place to live. How could anyone ever be saved? I reasoned.

If we never forgave anyone, we would never be giving wrongdoers room for repentance, for reform and change for the better. If enough of this type of unforgiving attitude circulated in public thought, eventually everyone would be held hostage by some crime they committed, whether small or large.

To improve society, we have to allow for reform.

I don't believe this means letting jailed criminals loose on the streets before they've reformed. But it is an important attitude society needs to possess to work for improvement amongst its citizens.

In light of the rash of random killings at schools, I pray that our society lose its fascination with violence and killing.

As a parent, it troubles me that millions of teenagers spend thousands of hours immersed in violent video games that have them killing characters over and over again on the plasma screen. Defenders of the practice claim its all in play. But is it?

How can children, and adults, purposely and intentionally plot to murder, even though in games, and not have the mentality of purposeful and mindless killing affect their larger view of life? Is this part of what we’re seeing today in the form of random and irrational killings? Not that any murder is rational.

If we adopted an attitude of hard-core vengeance and unrelenting hatred toward the random killers, we might easily miss the larger issue of “What should we be doing to prevent these outbursts from happening in the first place?”

Jesus taught us to love our enemies. His instruction didn’t mean ignore their attacks and be abused by them. It meant we needed to love the hate and anger right out of them.

The way to extract error from mortal mind is to pour in truth through flood-tides of Love. Science and Health, p. 201. Mary Baker Eddy

The public’s thought at large today is filled with too much anger and hate. I pray for an outpouring of love amongst parents and children, adults and peers, to reduce mindless hate and create citizens who love and respect each other’s life and existence.

When taught to love one another, the suggestion of hurting another doesn't enter the realm of mental possibility. Could this be the ultimate protection and prevention program for random killings?

But we have to forgive before we can love.

A love and a logic

Bono of the world famous rock band U2 is quoted as saying, “I think that there is a love and a logic that lies behind the universe. So I believe in God."

The words “a love and a logic…behind the universe” grabbed my attention. I believe the same, but hadn’t come up with quite the same phrasing on my own.

As I was sorting out my busy schedule today, I thought on the idea of having “a love and a logic” behind everything I do.

It’s tempting to think we plan our own lives, make our own schedules, decide our own fate and organize our own activities. All as if we are a god unto ourselves determining our future and well being.

This is a lonely existence, though, and can lead down a deserted road.

There is so much more to life than what the human mind contrives and scrambles to materially acquire. Life is divine. Life is spiritual. Life is God.

In the long run, all that seemed so important materially in the past fades into the background.

And what’s left?

Not the material, but the spiritual!

It's the spiritual good we possess that matters most and stays with us. Life is spiritual, and there is a divine power at work in that spiritual life that sustains us day after day, whether we realize it or not.

The material fades, but the divine is ever-present.

Glimpsing life in Spirit is beholding the “love and logic that lies behind the universe.”

Believing the great cosmos evolved out of chaos and disorder, as the Big Bang theory proposes, is similar to believing a tornado can rip through a vast junkyard and dump an IBM supercomputer out on the other side. It isn’t going to happen. Intelligent creation is the outcome of an intelligent power at work.

Your life is not evolving from chaos and disorder! There is an intelligent power propelling you forward, inspiring you, leading you, guiding you, governing you, and causing you to manifest intelligent lovely activity.

Wrap your mental arms around this divine influence—the power and presence of God—and let divine Love inspire your thoughts and actions today. Become the “love and logic…of the universe” expressed, and experience the perpetual and harmonizing flow of good through your being.

It's more fun that way!

God creates and governs the universe, including man. The universe is filled with spiritual ideas, which He evolves, and they are obedient to the Mind that makes them. Mary Baker Eddy

What do you see in others?

When being trained as a speaker for public audiences, I had a coach who never pointed out my faults when I rehearsed. She always focused on what I did well and encouraged me to do better. I was distressed about this approach at first because I wanted to know my mistakes and what I was doing wrong. But she refused to change her method. She constantly focused on my strengths and successes.

One time I observed another coach rip into a trainee with a list of errors she made along with corrections to make in her style and presentation. The trainee was crushed. She felt like a failure. She wanted to give up before she embarrassed herself again. She cried in the backroom afterward.

I suddenly gained an immense appreciation for the technique of my coach. My teacher knew that listing out errors and shortcomings demoralizes students and destroys their confidence. She knew that focusing on strengths and abilities builds confidence and increases success.

Lesson learned—an effective way to heal faults in other’s performance is to focus on what they do well. The love they feel from their supportive mentor inspires them to do better and grow out of their weaknesses.

Strong relationships are built in much the same way.

Have you ever been tempted to point out someone else’s faults? Let him or her know what they do wrong and why you don’t like it?

Does it help? Does it quickly harmonize the relationship? Not usually.

Honesty and forthrightness are certainly necessary for open communication, but what we are honest about makes all the difference.

God made each of us loving and lovable. It might not always look that way, but it depends upon our perspective. If we look at our partner through the eyes of error, we see faults. If we look at them through the eyes of Love, we see qualities to love.

There’s a saying: Building relationships is like living in California: don’t dwell on the faults!

Alan Cohen writes more about this in his article "The Addict and the Sage."

What happens to a structure set over a fault?

When an earthquake hits, it falls through the crack.

We don't have to dwell on other people's faults. It's more constructive to dwell on the spiritual truth about them and rejoice in what they do well.

God made your friend, student, spouse or co-worker perfect in Love. As you look at him or her through the lens of Love you'll see more of the good God put there in the first place. The more you see the positive, and work with them from the point of their worthiness, the shortcomings fall away or become a non-factor.

When "reviewing" other people's behavior in my mind, I think back to the approach of my favorite coach. I strive to focus on the good. Build up the good. Point out the strengths and successes.

We can trust the Mind of Christ to help our friend or family member figure out the rest, and leave us to still be their trusted confidant in the end.

"When speaking of God's children, not the children of men, Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within you;" that is, Truth and Love reign in the real The kingdom man, showing that man in God's image is within unfallen and eternal. Jesus beheld in Science the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals. In this perfect man the Saviour saw God's own likeness, and this correct view of man healed the sick." Mary Baker Eddy