Years ago, a black family moved into a totally white neighborhood. The mother was very concerned about their young boy being socially accepted into the public elementary school.
With great apprehension and worrisome fear, she sent the 8 year old off to class the first day. After school, the youngster comes bounding home with a smile on his face and joy in his eyes.
Wondering what happened during the day, the mom asked him, “How did your day go?” The boy blurted out that it went well. She continued, “Were there any other black children in your class?” He replied, “I don’t know. I never checked. I’ll look tomorrow and let you know.”
The little one didn’t care about the other children’s skin color. And he didn’t notice either. He saw brothers and sisters, all members of one great big special family.
Can’t we learn to look at each other the same way?
Race, color, nationality, and ethnic background are human distinctions, and from a spiritual point of view, one is no more or less than another. We are all equally loved and valued by our common Father-Mother.
Wouldn’t the world be a more peaceful place if we all loved each other the same way this little boy loved his classmates?
God doesn’t discriminate. He just loves, and loves and loves.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Marriage vows
Vera Long’s comment about contemporary couples and marriage vows got me to thinking. She was quoted by the Washington Post as saying, “Today people stand up in front of the altar and pledge their lives and don’t mean it.”
Is this true? I wondered.
Do brides and grooms ignore the significance of their wedding vows? Do they consider the profound commitment they are making to another person when they promise to stay with that person through riches or poverty, sickness or health, and until death parts them?
Back in the days when I was single, before I got married 19 years ago, I sweated, feared, and trembled at times over making such life-long vows because I figured once I made them I would stick to my word. This was my sense of integrity, honesty and commitment. I was not going to tell a woman I would be at her side forever if there was a chance I would break my promise. So when I decided to marry, I went through some deep soul-searching first to be sure I was making the right decision.
I realize intent is one thing, and what actually happens is another. People can go into a relationship with the best of intentions, but learn through trial and experience, change may be necessary to preserve sanity and civility. Divorce happens.
To prevent a few more divorces, though, and after pondering Vera’s comment, I hypothesized a different set of vows for those who have yet to catch the true meaning of love and are unsure about making a long term commitment.
They could promise something like, “I promise to stay with you as long as you are nice to me, do what I want, and keep me happy,” or something similar. This sentiment might be truer to some people’s intentions when they march to the altar and sign the contract.
But then what would happen? Would anyone marry another with such a loose and one-sided commitment? I suppose a few may. But for those who are serious about long-term happiness, I think they might reconsider. Focus on self is not the foundation of an enduring relationship. Unselfish giving and caring is absolutely required.
Blatant and open honesty at the altar might prevent some ill-fated marriages from occurring in the first place. And this would be a good thing.
Vera Long has been happily married for over 60 years to the love of her life, Charles Long. I’m sure Vera and Charles have worked through many difficult and trying times that tested their commitment to each other. But their marriage has stood the test of time, thus far, and they have set a good example for others to learn from.
I’m happy to report that my marriage is thriving too, for which I am grateful. I did make the right decision 20 years ago!
Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Be not in haste to take the vow 'until death do us part.' Consider its obligations, its responsibilities, its relations to your growth and to your influence on other lives.”
Marriage is a serious commitment. The vows we make should be taken seriously and only after careful deep thought. Isn't it reasonable to say that our steadfastness to those vows says a lot about how seriously we take other promises we make as well?
Marry for love, but be sure its true love! True love is spiritual, and it endures forever.
Is this true? I wondered.
Do brides and grooms ignore the significance of their wedding vows? Do they consider the profound commitment they are making to another person when they promise to stay with that person through riches or poverty, sickness or health, and until death parts them?
Back in the days when I was single, before I got married 19 years ago, I sweated, feared, and trembled at times over making such life-long vows because I figured once I made them I would stick to my word. This was my sense of integrity, honesty and commitment. I was not going to tell a woman I would be at her side forever if there was a chance I would break my promise. So when I decided to marry, I went through some deep soul-searching first to be sure I was making the right decision.
I realize intent is one thing, and what actually happens is another. People can go into a relationship with the best of intentions, but learn through trial and experience, change may be necessary to preserve sanity and civility. Divorce happens.
To prevent a few more divorces, though, and after pondering Vera’s comment, I hypothesized a different set of vows for those who have yet to catch the true meaning of love and are unsure about making a long term commitment.
They could promise something like, “I promise to stay with you as long as you are nice to me, do what I want, and keep me happy,” or something similar. This sentiment might be truer to some people’s intentions when they march to the altar and sign the contract.
But then what would happen? Would anyone marry another with such a loose and one-sided commitment? I suppose a few may. But for those who are serious about long-term happiness, I think they might reconsider. Focus on self is not the foundation of an enduring relationship. Unselfish giving and caring is absolutely required.
Blatant and open honesty at the altar might prevent some ill-fated marriages from occurring in the first place. And this would be a good thing.
Vera Long has been happily married for over 60 years to the love of her life, Charles Long. I’m sure Vera and Charles have worked through many difficult and trying times that tested their commitment to each other. But their marriage has stood the test of time, thus far, and they have set a good example for others to learn from.
I’m happy to report that my marriage is thriving too, for which I am grateful. I did make the right decision 20 years ago!
Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Be not in haste to take the vow 'until death do us part.' Consider its obligations, its responsibilities, its relations to your growth and to your influence on other lives.”
Marriage is a serious commitment. The vows we make should be taken seriously and only after careful deep thought. Isn't it reasonable to say that our steadfastness to those vows says a lot about how seriously we take other promises we make as well?
Marry for love, but be sure its true love! True love is spiritual, and it endures forever.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
True north
Explorers traveling through thick jungles and over high mountains prevent themselves from getting lost by keeping their path squared with true north. Navigators over open seas read the stars and watch their compass to steer their ships on course.
We all are explorers and navigators of different types. We need a compass to consult and a true north to follow when faced with tough decisions.
We might ask ourselves, what compass am I following? What is my true north?
I watched a movie where a young married man could not decide whether to stay faithful to his wife or to continue a romance with another married woman. The decision tortured him. He was confused and torn, swinging back and forth between the two relationships like a lost servant who couldn’t decide who to serve and honor. While watching him suffer, I concluded that he needed a moral compass to guide his decision-making. Rather than focus on self-gratification, which typically leaves one in the dumpster of despair and darkness anyway, he needed to figure out what the spiritually right thing was to do, and then do it. Eventually, he did come back to his wife and see the folly of the extra-marital affair.
Decision-making is much easier when we have a compass to consult and a true north to guide us.
My compass is the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy. These books are filled with moral and spiritual guidance. The soundness of their wisdom has been tested by the ages.
My true north is serving God. As the Bible teaches, “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.“ I figure if I do this, I will more ably tell the difference between right and wrong and more successfully navigate the turbulent and stormy seas of the world. So far, I'm happy with the results!
What are your compass and your true north?
We all are explorers and navigators of different types. We need a compass to consult and a true north to follow when faced with tough decisions.
We might ask ourselves, what compass am I following? What is my true north?
I watched a movie where a young married man could not decide whether to stay faithful to his wife or to continue a romance with another married woman. The decision tortured him. He was confused and torn, swinging back and forth between the two relationships like a lost servant who couldn’t decide who to serve and honor. While watching him suffer, I concluded that he needed a moral compass to guide his decision-making. Rather than focus on self-gratification, which typically leaves one in the dumpster of despair and darkness anyway, he needed to figure out what the spiritually right thing was to do, and then do it. Eventually, he did come back to his wife and see the folly of the extra-marital affair.
Decision-making is much easier when we have a compass to consult and a true north to guide us.
My compass is the Bible and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy. These books are filled with moral and spiritual guidance. The soundness of their wisdom has been tested by the ages.
My true north is serving God. As the Bible teaches, “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbor as thyself.“ I figure if I do this, I will more ably tell the difference between right and wrong and more successfully navigate the turbulent and stormy seas of the world. So far, I'm happy with the results!
What are your compass and your true north?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
It doesn't take money
A friend was saddened to tell me he had cancelled a trip to a sunny beach in the south because the travel was going to cost too much. He needed to save funds for attending work related conferences over the next year. “It’s sad that I can’t do something special for myself,” he lamented.
“It doesn’t take money to do something special for yourself.” I told him. “Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love,” Mary Baker Eddy wrote.
“It’s not where your body is that makes you happy, but where your thinking resides. You can have some of the happiest times of your life where you are right now if you are in a proper state of mind,” I explained.
What does it mean to do something special for oneself?
For me, it means doing something that brings a feeling of goodness into my life that I hadn’t been previously experiencing.
The key phrase here is “feeling of goodness.”
People often make the mistake of believing the goodness they seek will be found in a material place, person, or thing. I’ve learned from experience that this type of goodness is fleeting!
Once you leave the beach, then what? Once the meal is finished, then what? Once the other person loses interest, then what?
True goodness is spiritual, coming from God. We have access to it regardless of where we are located geographically. It is not found in a store, nor does it cost money. It is free, given to us by God. And we find it spiritually, through prayer and quiet time with the Divine.
A feeling of goodness comes in the form of peace of mind, inspiration, joy, gratitude, love and contentment.
“If you want to do something special for yourself,” I said to my friend, “take time out of your busy schedule, quietly go to God, and pray for increased spiritual mindedness. The joy you find in feeling close to God will stay with you forever, and you won’t worry about increasing your credit card debt in the meantime!”
It doesn’t cost money to have a good time. But it may take humility in appreciating how easily one can have a good time if open to spiritual possibilities.
“It doesn’t take money to do something special for yourself.” I told him. “Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love,” Mary Baker Eddy wrote.
“It’s not where your body is that makes you happy, but where your thinking resides. You can have some of the happiest times of your life where you are right now if you are in a proper state of mind,” I explained.
What does it mean to do something special for oneself?
For me, it means doing something that brings a feeling of goodness into my life that I hadn’t been previously experiencing.
The key phrase here is “feeling of goodness.”
People often make the mistake of believing the goodness they seek will be found in a material place, person, or thing. I’ve learned from experience that this type of goodness is fleeting!
Once you leave the beach, then what? Once the meal is finished, then what? Once the other person loses interest, then what?
True goodness is spiritual, coming from God. We have access to it regardless of where we are located geographically. It is not found in a store, nor does it cost money. It is free, given to us by God. And we find it spiritually, through prayer and quiet time with the Divine.
A feeling of goodness comes in the form of peace of mind, inspiration, joy, gratitude, love and contentment.
“If you want to do something special for yourself,” I said to my friend, “take time out of your busy schedule, quietly go to God, and pray for increased spiritual mindedness. The joy you find in feeling close to God will stay with you forever, and you won’t worry about increasing your credit card debt in the meantime!”
It doesn’t cost money to have a good time. But it may take humility in appreciating how easily one can have a good time if open to spiritual possibilities.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Dealing with mean people
I was asked, “When we die, do we have to deal with mean people who passed on before us?”
I replied, “God didn’t create mean people. The troubles mean people give us are not so much from the person we identify as cruel, as from our evil thoughts about them. Get rid of the evil thoughts, and the meanness of that person will not bother you.”
“That is interesting,” she commented. And then went onto explain that a person she considered to be one of the cruelest and meanest individuals she had ever known had recently died. But she was still very troubled by him.
We concluded that it wasn’t the person’s physical presence and actions that had troubled her, but her thoughts about him, and those unforgiving views were still hanging around.
I find three passages from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy, helpful in claiming immunity from other people’s hurtful ways.
- “It is error to suffer for aught but your own sins.” p. 391:13
- “It is self-evident that we are harmonious only as we cease to manifest evil or the belief that we suffer from the sins of others.” p. 346:13
- “The sins of others should not make good men suffer.” p. 189:13
Typically, we are troubled by others because our self-indignation, arrogance, self-righteousness or pride gets offended. The spiritual demand is to purge ourselves of sin, of the “self-stuff” that prevents us from having a consciousness filled with love. Once the “self-stuff” is dispensed with we can successfully love our enemies as Jesus taught, and prevent them from paining our existence.
So, “Do we have to deal with mean people in a later life?” I answer, “In spiritual reality there are no mean people. It’s our view of them that needs to reform. But sooner or later each of us need to behold the correct view of every one of God's children, and there's no better time to get that right spiritual view then now!”
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The most important things
I talked to an audience of adults about valuing the most important things in life.
I asked the question, “When you turn 95 and look back over previous decades, what accomplishments will be most important to you? The money you earned, the house you bought, the title you gained, or the friends you made, the family you prospered, and the love you shared?”
After the gathering, a stately and elderly gentlemen with all the trappings of worldly success and executive status cornered me at my car in the parking lot. He was crying. He told me, “You don’t know how lucky you are to have the most important things in life figured out at an early age.” He said no more, but reading between the lines, I felt he had learned the hard way over his career to put love for others above love for his work.
We all need priority checks on occasion. We need to ask ourselves, "What is most important to me, and what should be most important to me?" Is it to earn that higher wage, get that promotion, and beat out my competitor? Or is it to help my friends, support my children, comfort my spouse, grow spiritually with God, and love more?
The things of the world come and go, but the love of God we live and share stay with us forever.
What’s your choice?
I asked the question, “When you turn 95 and look back over previous decades, what accomplishments will be most important to you? The money you earned, the house you bought, the title you gained, or the friends you made, the family you prospered, and the love you shared?”
After the gathering, a stately and elderly gentlemen with all the trappings of worldly success and executive status cornered me at my car in the parking lot. He was crying. He told me, “You don’t know how lucky you are to have the most important things in life figured out at an early age.” He said no more, but reading between the lines, I felt he had learned the hard way over his career to put love for others above love for his work.
We all need priority checks on occasion. We need to ask ourselves, "What is most important to me, and what should be most important to me?" Is it to earn that higher wage, get that promotion, and beat out my competitor? Or is it to help my friends, support my children, comfort my spouse, grow spiritually with God, and love more?
The things of the world come and go, but the love of God we live and share stay with us forever.
What’s your choice?
Monday, February 13, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
God is not abstract
“Where do I find God? God is nowhere to be found!” I’ve heard people despair.
God is easy to find if you know what to look for.
God is Love.
When a person smiles, gives a big hug, acts unselfishly, cares, notices, encourages, and supports, God is at work in the love expressed.
God is Mind.
When you get a good idea, gain insight, receive fresh perspective, become inspired, or solve a problem, God is at work in the helpful ideas revealed.
God is good.
When tensions dissolve, stress drains away, conflict recedes, or troubles disappear, God is at work bringing something better to the surface.
Some people complain they can see no good around them. I reply, “You are not looking! Break out of the cubicle of self-centeredness and look around! It’s easy to find God. God is everywhere. God is omnipresent.
The limited material sense of things doubts this spiritual reality, but the material senses never have gotten the truth right. They need to be forsaken. We need to get into a spiritual sense of things. Then we begin to see, maybe a little bitty at a time, but nonetheless, it will appear, God’s glory everywhere!!
God is not abstract and unknowable. God is here and now. You can't miss His presence if you're looking!
God is easy to find if you know what to look for.
God is Love.
When a person smiles, gives a big hug, acts unselfishly, cares, notices, encourages, and supports, God is at work in the love expressed.
God is Mind.
When you get a good idea, gain insight, receive fresh perspective, become inspired, or solve a problem, God is at work in the helpful ideas revealed.
God is good.
When tensions dissolve, stress drains away, conflict recedes, or troubles disappear, God is at work bringing something better to the surface.
Some people complain they can see no good around them. I reply, “You are not looking! Break out of the cubicle of self-centeredness and look around! It’s easy to find God. God is everywhere. God is omnipresent.
The limited material sense of things doubts this spiritual reality, but the material senses never have gotten the truth right. They need to be forsaken. We need to get into a spiritual sense of things. Then we begin to see, maybe a little bitty at a time, but nonetheless, it will appear, God’s glory everywhere!!
God is not abstract and unknowable. God is here and now. You can't miss His presence if you're looking!
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
Love is...
Love is not selfish.
Love is not self-centered.
Love is not blind.
Love is not negligent.
Love does not turn a deaf ear.
Love is not abused.
Love is not hurt.
Love is not tricked.
Love is not deceived.
Love is wise.
Love is discerning.
Love is alert.
Love is power.
Love is in control.
Love rules.
Love wins.
Love has the final say.
Love, love, love—it’s the God-appointed way.
Love is not self-centered.
Love is not blind.
Love is not negligent.
Love does not turn a deaf ear.
Love is not abused.
Love is not hurt.
Love is not tricked.
Love is not deceived.
Love is wise.
Love is discerning.
Love is alert.
Love is power.
Love is in control.
Love rules.
Love wins.
Love has the final say.
Love, love, love—it’s the God-appointed way.
Sunday, February 5, 2006
Drop the grievances and forgive
Definition of grievance: A cause for complaint or resentment that may or may not be well-founded; bitterness or anger at having received unfair treatment. Encarta
I attended a meeting where many people aired grievances toward the sponsoring organization. From many participants’ point of view, the grievances were legitimate and warranted. From other member’s point of view, the grievances were symptomatic of self-righteousness, grudges and jealousy festering and left unchecked.
I thought about how Jesus handled grievances.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Peter got mad at the soldiers who came to capture Jesus, and in his anger cut off a captor’s ear. Jesus told Peter to put his sword away, and proceeded to restore the man’s ear. While hanging on the cross, Jesus forgave his enemies. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus taught his followers not to hold grudges, even if they were legitimate from a human point of view. He taught us to let go of our grievances and forgive. “Forgive seventy times seven,” he instructed.
The highway to heaven is invisible to the heart filled with complaint and criticism.
Love and forgiveness find the pathway to Spirit and lead us to the Kingdom. God will take care of our enemies in His own proper time. Jesus trusted this truth. We can too.
I attended a meeting where many people aired grievances toward the sponsoring organization. From many participants’ point of view, the grievances were legitimate and warranted. From other member’s point of view, the grievances were symptomatic of self-righteousness, grudges and jealousy festering and left unchecked.
I thought about how Jesus handled grievances.
In the garden of Gethsemane, Peter got mad at the soldiers who came to capture Jesus, and in his anger cut off a captor’s ear. Jesus told Peter to put his sword away, and proceeded to restore the man’s ear. While hanging on the cross, Jesus forgave his enemies. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Jesus taught his followers not to hold grudges, even if they were legitimate from a human point of view. He taught us to let go of our grievances and forgive. “Forgive seventy times seven,” he instructed.
The highway to heaven is invisible to the heart filled with complaint and criticism.
Love and forgiveness find the pathway to Spirit and lead us to the Kingdom. God will take care of our enemies in His own proper time. Jesus trusted this truth. We can too.
Thursday, February 2, 2006
Lose a fear of failure
A woman was terrified about ever praying for spiritual healing again because she had heard of someone dying despite their best spiritual efforts to stay alive. There was no medical solution to the deceased man’s problem, but nonetheless, prayer hadn’t saved him either.
“What if I get a disease someday?” The caller panicked. “What if one of my children get sick?” She feared. “What if I pray and nothing happens?” And the “What ifs…” poured out of her mouth building her thought into a frantic frenzy of doubt and uncertainty over whether God could help in time of emergency.
I’ve grappled with the same worry in the past, especially as a dad with two young children and a wife in the family. I’ve resolved the issue by eliminating “What ifs” from my reasoning.
“What if” fears are based on anticipation of failure. This is not the premise Jesus reasoned from. He reasoned from a premise of success. He knew God gets us out of every trouble, one way or the other, and he proved it with his resurrection and ascension.
If we let “What if” fears get out of control, progress stops.
For example, take learning to ride a bike. The list of “What ifs” could be endless.
“What if I get a disease someday?” The caller panicked. “What if one of my children get sick?” She feared. “What if I pray and nothing happens?” And the “What ifs…” poured out of her mouth building her thought into a frantic frenzy of doubt and uncertainty over whether God could help in time of emergency.
I’ve grappled with the same worry in the past, especially as a dad with two young children and a wife in the family. I’ve resolved the issue by eliminating “What ifs” from my reasoning.
“What if” fears are based on anticipation of failure. This is not the premise Jesus reasoned from. He reasoned from a premise of success. He knew God gets us out of every trouble, one way or the other, and he proved it with his resurrection and ascension.
If we let “What if” fears get out of control, progress stops.
For example, take learning to ride a bike. The list of “What ifs” could be endless.
- What if I fall?
- What if I can’t go fast enough?
- What if I look ridiculous? And more.
The “What ifs” need to be silenced and replaced with “I will.”
- I will stay up.
- I will pedal fast enough.
- I will ride with grace and coordination.
One may fall while trying. One may not move fast enough and one may look like a clown in his first attempts to ride, but with persistence and perseverance, he will succeed. He has to start where he is and try until success is clinched.
The doubt of “What if I fail in prayer,” needs to be replaced with “I will succeed in prayer.” And with persistence, perseverance, and steady growth in spiritual understanding we find the spiritual answers we need when we need them.
If temporal aid is useful to get us through a pressing emergency, that aid will become obvious at the time.
Over the long run, there are no unanswered prayers. All disease, sin and death succumb to the omni-activity of Truth and Love. This final realization is called…eternal life. There's no better time to realize it then now!!
