Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Don't worry about others

How much time do you consume worrying about what other people are doing?

Perhaps its concern about whether your spouse is living up to your expectations, or whether a co-worker is performing their job correctly, or whether a member on your team is carrying their weight?

One of the rules I’m learning while playing doubles in tennis is to not worry about the other player. When I obey the rule, the rewards are huge, especially if you’re playing with your spouse!

In tennis doubles, it’s tempting to pin blame on your partner if they miss a shot, drop the ball into the net, or overhit. But, if the truth be known, you likely are missing just as many shots, if not more, than they are. It’s much more productive to not judge your partner’s shots, and concentrate on playing your own very best.

It’s amazing what happens on court when you focus all of your attention on doing your very best, and not worry about the other player. The better you do, the better they do. The more confident you are, the more confident they are. Success in your own efforts encourages and supports success in their efforts.

Contrariwise, if you judge your partner’s shots and voice disapproval or groan disappointment, they get demoralized, discouraged, even mad or angry. The morale on the court quickly sinks and the team’s game suffers. No good comes out of condemnation, judgmentalism or criticism. It’s a sure and quick route to failure and defeat.

I believe this rule applies to all interactions with people—at home, in the workplace, in the community. All of us have occasions where we work with others. If we put this rule, “Don’t worry about the other person. Concentrate on doing your very best,” more into practice, I’d bet we’d all get along much better.

I find it works well in marriage. Anytime I judge my wife and believe she needs to change, I generally get into trouble. Like Paul taught, “What you judge others to do, you do yourself.” Can you relate??

The more successful route to working with others is to change our view of them, rather than trying to change them. As we improve our view and see the other person the way God created him or her to begin with, we see them in their true spiritual light, and realize there is nothing to criticize, condemn or judge. God made each of us wonderful in our own special unique way.

Judge righteous judgment.” Jesus taught. To judge righteously, is to size the other person up spiritually, to see the good God put there in the first place.

“Don’t worry about the other person. Be the best you can be,” is a dictum for successful living. It lifts negativity out of thought, casts darkness out of consciousness, lightens the load of worry, and sets us free to be all God created us to be.

No one is holding us back from using our God-given talents to the fullest. No one! The less time we worry about the other person, and the more energy we put into being our very best, the better off for everyone.


And that's a recipe for harmonious relations!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanks for friends

The following story came through my email from a friend yesterday. I believe I’ve read it in one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul, series books. Anyway, it’s heart-warmer.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends the next afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends.

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!"

He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.

So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

"Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends...

“I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

“I am going to tell you a story.”

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life.


God puts us all in each others’ lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God at work in others.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Turkey humor

A chuckler...

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"



What are you grateful for?

I love Thanksgiving time. It reminds me to stop what I'm doing and be extra grateful for all the blessings that God has to offer.

I shared some of the things I'm grateful for this year in a blog posting, "Gratitude for spiritual awakenings," on tmcyouth.com that went up yesterday.

Happy Thanksgiving to you.




Thursday, November 15, 2007

A smile from God

Sent in by a reader...




Who are you?

A young boy brought home poor grades from school. His parents protested, telling him he could do better. He argued back, a bit defiant, with the declaration, “But this is who I am! I’m not smart like the other kids.”

Have you ever faced another person who took the position of “This is who I am. Take it or leave it,” type of announcement?

On one hand, there is a freedom to be gained in accepting us for who we are. It’s important to not judge ourselves down, or others, because we’re manifesting less than perfection.

But I was thinking today, that this type of conclusion can also be abused and used to justify less than ideal behavior, or shoddy performance.

Who are we anyway?

Are we what the eye sees? Are we a mortal plagued with imperfections? Are we hopelessly prone to repetitive mistakes and slip-ups? Do we have to be hard to get along with?

I don’t think so.

I believe we are something unimaginably greater than the human mind has ever comprehended. I believe we’ve barely glimpsed our true potential as the offspring of divine Mind. I believe we are something far superior than we have yet demonstrated in everyday life.

As God’s image, we are not hopelessly prone to repeating errors and shortcomings. They can be overcome with deeper spiritual understanding of the one Mind’s governance over our lives.

When we understand our true selfhood to be reflective of the infinite and perfect individuality of God, the statement “This is who I am,” is made in the context of “I am God’s perfect image.”

When my children justify less than ideal performance, I remind them of who they are as God’s intelligent image. It helps them get over their consent to less than ideal behavior. It works for me too. And it will probably work for you!

“This is who I am,” is not an acceptable argument if made in the context of “I am a fallible mortal.” We are not fallible mortals. We are God’s image.

Yes, we have much to demonstrate to prove we are God’s image, but the premise of our reasoning must be correct to arrive at the desired destination.

From now on, I will be more careful to not lay on others the “This is who I am” statement unless it’s made in a spiritual context of “This is who I am—God’s image!” It feels much better that way.

"Anybody, who is able to perceive the incongruity between God's idea and poor humanity, ought to be able to discern the distinction (made
by Christian Science) between God's man, made in His image, and the sinning race of Adam...

"When man is spoken of as made in God's image, it is not sinful and sickly mortal man who is referred to, but the ideal man, reflecting God's likeness." Mary Baker Eddy

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Raising children and healthcare

Last weekend, when in Seattle, my 14 year old son woke me at 11 p.m. in our motel room and said, “Dad, I don’t feel very well.” I knew from experience, he wouldn’t ask for help unless the problem felt serious.

I spoke the spiritual truth to him as a reminder of who he was under God’s absolute government. He listened attentively.

As I gave him Christian Science treatment, though, doubts about his ability to recover quickly rushed in. After all, I remembered, he ate four lettuce leaves for dinner with a huge glass of strawberry lemonade. Then he swigged down a big bottle of Gatorade at the swim meet, plus Kettle Corn.

He deserved to suffer! Mortal mind protested.

Condemnation was a mental hurdle I had to jump and move past.

I condemned myself for letting him eat so poorly. That is not a general practice for our family, but somehow slipped through unnoted that evening.

So, to make spiritual progress, I protested back to the doubts of quick recovery.

“It doesn’t matter what he ate tonight.” I declared. “His ability to feel well is not controlled by what he consumes. It’s controlled by God, and God is caring for him as much now as at any other time. God did not keep track of what he ate.” I agreed.

I decided that God’s laws of Love could neutralize any so-called laws of physics that would warrant suffering. My son didn’t have to suffer. It was God’s will and plan for him to be well and stay well. This was a demonstrable truth.

I found my peace about his situation, knowing that divine Love was at work in his being sustaining him, protecting him, and healing him. He couldn’t help but get well and stay well.

If there was a need for diet adjustment in the future, God would facilitate it. But for now, quick recovery was the agenda.

After an urgent visit to the bathroom, which proved uneventful, he went back to bed. A few minutes later I heard him snoring. And that was the end of the suffering.

I’ve always been grateful for how quickly our children respond to Christian Science treatment. I can’t remember a single night over 17 years my wife or I have had to spend up with them because of illness. The ills have disappeared so rapidly when they were prayed for.

Christian Science is a marvel, a miracle, really, compared to other options in healthcare. To pray for a child, without having to apply any medicines and contend with side effects, and see them get well spiritually is truly a gift from God. Christian Science has been a huge blessing to my family.

Monday, November 12, 2007

When unpleasantly surprised, stay calm

The City of Richland has been landscaping in front of my office. They removed several trees and plan to plant some new ones in different spots on the breezeway I look out onto.

After they removed the old trees, they poured concrete into the 3 by 3 foot spaces the old trunks occupied. However, safety and watching out for the public’s best interest weren’t highest priority the day this all happened. They put no barriers, signs, or barricades around the newly poured concrete. No warning whatsoever.

As I ate my lunch, I looked out my window and watched a middle-aged woman tromp down the breezeway gripping a sewing machine case to her chest, doing all she could to hold herself together with such a heavy load.


Oblivious to the ground her feet traveled, she stomped through the wet concrete. Plomp, plomp, she went, in one side of a square and out the other, sinking 4 inches into the gritty mud.

I went out to help her and explain the situation. A bit confused and bemused by her surprise plodding through concrete, she asked who to call to have her footprints filled in. I answered her questions, and she was safely on her way.

After she left, I scrounged up some makeshift tools and fixed it myself, and gleaned the experience for a spiritual lesson.

I thought about how this lady assumed the walkway would be safe to tread without taking thought for what her feet may find along the way. She did not watch the path before her because she trusted it would be clear.

We learn to take certain conditions and relationships for granted through experience too. We trust friends to be there for us. We expect our spouse to understand. We expect our children will do the right thing. We expect health to be permanent. But then, a friend fails us, or our spouse doesn’t understand, our children make a mistake, or health wanes. We might start to wonder, “What happened?”

The lady who walked through the concrete certainly stopped and asked, “What happened?” while shaking cement off her shoes. But she handled the mini-crisis well, quickly shedding despair and looking for a way to fix the mess she had made. She didn’t blame anyone. She stayed calm and totally relaxed.

This woman set a high moral example for others to follow.


And she left the scene in fine shape. Even her shoes were okay.

We too, I thought, don’t need to get upset and angry when met by unpleasant surprises. There's always a remedy to whatever problem we face. The sooner we stay calm, listen for divine guidance and act with love, the quicker harmony is restored and events brought back to normal.

I believe we all have our moments when we learn that events, relationships and circumstances are not always reliable in this world. They are temporal, and take on a temporal nature.

So, to preserve our sanity, confidence and hope, we turn from earth to heaven—from the temporal to the eternal—and find Life in Spirit where there are no traps to catch us by surprise. God sees, knows and guides every footstep we take and keeps us on a safe path. This is a truth we can trust.


Keep score of the best times

Last weekend, I went with my family to Federal Way to watch my daughter swim in the Washington State swimming championships.

She qualified in four events, which was quite an accomplishment—the 50 and 100 meter single freestyle, plus the 200 and 400 freestyle relay.

Her goal at the beginning of the season was to place at the state level in one single event, so to place in two singles, plus two relays, was a major thrill for her and her teammates. They felt like winners before they arrived, and rightfully so.

I have much to learn about swimming competition, but one record keeping practice caught my attention this weekend like never before.


To place at the state level, a swimmer must beat predetermined times during the meets they compete at in the three months preceding the state competition. Once they get a state time at a local or district meet, they are in. It doesn’t matter if times at succeeding meets are worse. The good time they achieved stays locked into their record until they better it.

I pondered the value of adopting this practice of keeping track of the best score with all aspects of life.

How many of us keep track and record in thought only the best times we have?

Do we remember the best things our spouse said to us? Do we remember only the compliments and praise that came from our boss? Do we mentally lock onto only the happy times of our past?

Or, do we break the rule of “cling to your best time,” and dwell on the mean things other people said, or the weak moments when our spouse uttered a scouring word, or a time of failing we wished had never happened?

I’ve learned from watching my daughter swim.


When she gets a bad time, she looks me in the eye and says, “It doesn’t matter dad. I already beat it in the past. Only my good time counts.” She doesn’t fret and fume over the failures. She focuses only on besting her best time. And that’s where she puts all her time, energy and attention.

Isn’t there a metaphysical lesson here for us all?


Our whole thought, time and attention should be focused on besting our best time too. We should not waste one milli-second moaning or despairing over the bad times. They don’t matter. It’s the best time that counts.

And the best time, from a spiritual point of view, is the record established in divine Mind by God.

God created us perfect, with a whole, complete, happy and healthy Life to express and fulfill. This Life is the best, and anything less is not worthy of attention, time or energy.

Soooo, keep track of the best times, not the worse times. Don’t be a hard drive for error. Focus on the good and only the good, and your best times will be replaced by even better times.


Oh, and I forgot to mention, my daughter made it to consolations in all events. She did well, and looks forward to besting her times for next year.






Thursday, November 8, 2007

A big hug today

Have you received your lion hug for today?

My heart was warmed and delighted as I watched a video clip sent in by a reader today. You might enjoy it too.

A Colombian woman found a hurt and hungry baby lion in the wilderness. She took the desperate little one home and cared for him. Over time, he grew too big to stay with her any longer, so she turned him over to a local zoo. She has visited every day since.

Here's the video, "Lion hugs."

Monday, November 5, 2007

Sinking at sea

I was told today about a 90 year old woman who was swimming in the ocean recently. She is evidently admired by many friends as a person of great faith in God’s ability to help at anytime.

While swimming, a heart problem developed and began to incapacitate her. She started to sink and knew she was in serious trouble.

Not losing her faith, she prayed for what to do. An inner voice told her to raise her arm above the surface of the water, and someone would see her.

She obeyed.

At a distance, a stranger in a boat sees her arm signaling above the water, comes to her immediate rescue, and takes her safely to shore.


After hearing this story, I thought about times over the years when I was “sinking at sea” and fast feeling hopeless. But God told me to “raise my hand for help,” and someone came to my rescue.

It’s comforting to know that we are never alone. God is always there and can help in unpredictable ways.

But we mustn't forget to raise our hand if needed!



Sunday, November 4, 2007

Are you fully aware?

I thought you might enjoy this poem a friend forwarded to me. It ends with a sobering message.


A CLASSIC CONCERT

There's a grand concert of nature
That thrills us every spring.
All the players take their places
And we hear and see them dance and sing.

The birds are winging here and there
Gathering twigs to build a nest.




And, we are pleased to see and hear again
Our old friend robin redbreast.


The cottontail is busy in the grass
Lining her nest with fur.


Honey bees visit every flower
And they are just a blur.





The snow geese add their music
From high up in the sky.
We feel a touch of sadness
As they honk that last goodbye.




The bullfrogs make their music
From somewhere in the pond.




The coyotes add their voices
From somewhere far beyond.





Once upon a time I heard this concert
With my windows open wide.





Then, we closed our homes for central air,
Now all I hear is what's inside.




The End


The effect of central air on how connected we feel to the environment around us when we shut out windows is obvious. But what about other types of "window-shutting" we might engage? Particularly, mental window-shutting?

Like closing our mind to other people's point of view? Or shutting our mind to constructive criticism? Prejudice, self-righteousness, narrow-mindedness, stubbornness, pride, and their kin would block out helpful ideas and perspective that might otherwise bless us immensely if let in and considered.

I like the above story because it's encouraged me to think about ways I might have shut the windows of my thought to fresh inspiration and insight. It's not healthy to get stuck in mental ruts that get so deep we can't see over the edge to the beautiful views all around.

God's universe is glorious, and we have spiritual senses to take it in abundantly. We must use those senses though, and not let them become ignored by getting too matter-focused in our pursuits and activities.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

How unselflish are you willing to be?

The below picture came through my inbox today and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I don't know which creature asserted their position first. Whether the cat curled up in the dog basket and the dog decided to let the cat take her rest, or whether the dog decided first to take the smaller basket and let kitty see what a bigger bed would feel like?

I like the dog's attitude. Evidently, he has decided to make the best of the situation, let kitty rest peacefully, and be grateful for the perch still available to him.

I think of times in life when we may feel put upon, believing someone else has deprived us of something we figure is rightfully ours. But we learn through spiritual growth and increased humility that the most important position we ever occupy is not a place in the world, but a mental place at-one with divine Love, where we know we're loved and cared for by God through eternal spiritual ways and means no matter what comes and goes on the human scene.

Knowing our all-in-all resides in Spirit, we can live like Jesus Christ who gave everything he had humanly in order to help his neighbor. This is the ultimate unselfishness, but also the ultimate freedom, which leads away from sense to Soul.



Friday, November 2, 2007

Never give into discouragement

My 14 year old son has been working on a major project to complete for his science class. It has been weeks in the works and due for final presentation this afternoon.

Fascinated with dry ice bombs a few months ago, and how adding a little water to dry ice in a closed compartment causes CO2 to vaporize, build pressure, and then explode its container in a ferocious blast, he decided to build a dry ice propelled car. This was a very ambitious project for it required him to design and build a vehicle plus a gas chamber to contain the dry ice explosion that would propel the car forward.
Last Saturday was the big-push day to finish the work.

His equipment was built and ready for experiments to be run. But the day got off to a bad start when the pressure chamber slipped out of his hands and crashed to the floor breaking into many pieces. Weeks of work busted in a second. Oh, he was disappointed. I feared he was going to give up and quit.

I wanted him to grow spiritually out of this and learn from experience that success will come if you don’t give up. Success doesn’t always come easily. So mom and I cheered him up, went to the store for more parts, and got him back in business within an hour or so. The speed of the fix-up was alone an answered prayer.

But an hour later, the chamber slips again and busts. This was not good. Tyler was absolutely crushed in spirit.

The experiments had not been going well. The car hadn’t move a millimeter with the first set of explosions. And one of his best friends who was at our house working with him as a partner on the project had quit helping because he thought the project was “too much work.”

Hopelessness hung heavy in the air.

I shut the bedroom door and had a short talk with my Tyler, my son. I told him that some projects in life take a lot of work to get right. But that’s okay. God gives us everything we need to succeed. And if we persevere and not lose our faith, we’ll figure out what we need to do and be able to follow through.

Back to the store we went, got the needed parts, and fixed his equipment once again.

We analyzed his pressure chamber and car to figure out what needed to change to get that car to move. After a few modifications, he experimented again.

With hope and confidence restored, he cheerily proceeded.

Finally, a hint of success.

One explosion moved the car a few inches, then a foot, then four feet. Amazing! He was ebullient, jumping through the roof with enthusiasm. It had been a long series of weeks and then hours that day getting to the point of finally seeing some success, but his hard and determined effort paid off.

As a parent preparing a child for life in the big world out there, I was so glad he had not caved into despair. That was my prayer all day! He learned a valuable life-lesson that will benefit him for decades to come.

Stick to it! Don’t give up. Overcome the obstacles. God gives you what you need.
Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “The devotion of thought to an honest achievement makes the achievement possible. Exceptions only confirm this rule, proving that failure is occasioned by a too feeble faith.”

If there is a daunting project facing you at the moment, you have what you need too.

Reasons to feel discouraged are not uncommon in the human mind, but they are foreign to the divine Mind. The more we rely upon God for help and the less we listen to the limited material sense of things, the sooner we find solutions to problems we face and the more certain is our success.

The "Dry Ice Bomb" car!

 

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